The story of Mel

Greetings and Salutations.

Holy Week is fast approaching which means that the Lion of Lebanon will be spending more time in the church in one week then most people do in their lifetime.

Because I am a devout Maronite Catholic, I was asked to be on my church's youth committee, we arrange a number of events for the youth ranging from social activities to missionary activities to spiritual activities.

Tonight we are showing Mel Gibson's masterpiece: The Passion of the Christ in the hope that those attending will gain a better insight into the true meaning of holy week.

Personally I am a fan of the movie, although very gruesome and graphical, it is the most realistic depiction of what Christ went through leading to his death. the movie also explores other themes which are important such as Truth and the meaning behind it.

As stated before I am a movie buff and am a fan of Gibson the director and actor (and not of the man). Although good his movies are gaining the reputation of being frightfully historically inaccurate.

His first venture into directing was Braveheart, which he also stared in the lead role. I don't think there is a human being alive who has not seen the movie or is not aware thereof, so I wont be giving a brief description.

However, during the actual Scottish Wars of Independence, the Scots won a significant battle at: The Battle of Stirling Bridge. Where the actual William Wallace and his army engaged the English on the narrow bridge which nullified their vastly superior numbers. Wallace and his army held the bridge the whole day by fighting conservatively and suffering few casualties. In Braveheart this battle is just dubbed: The Battle of Stirling and does not involve a bridge. The tactics used during this movie battle were tactics similar to those which the actual Scots used in the later Battle of Bannokburn.

After this he had a long hiatus as a director while he concentrated on his acting career. In fact his next movie, The Passion of the Christ, came some nine years after Braveheart in 2005.

He used the four gospels written about the life of Jesus very accurately and of the three films he directed, this is the one with the least historical inaccuracies. However, there is one mistake which can be identified.

The movie starts with Jesus, played by Jim Caviezel, praying in the Garden of Gethsemane on the night of his betrayal and handing over to the Jews. In the movie, while praying, Jesus is tempted by Satan. None of the actual gospels make reference to this.

Granted, this could have possibly been the case, but when you only have gospels as a historical reference point, then you will be critiscised for being historically inaccurate if you deviate there from.

His final directorial movie, to date, was Apocalypto. The movie is set in Mesoamerica at the height of the Incan and Mayan empires. A troop of Incan's invade a village on the border of the Mexican rain forest, kill almost everyone in the village and take a number of captives back to their homeland. A warrior escapes, makes a run for the border while being pursued by his captors. He kills all but tow of them and gets home in time to save his wife and two kids.

The movie makes alot of references to human sacrifice and the bloodthirsty nature of the Mexican Indians. Although there is sufficient proof that human sacrifice did exist at the time, there is still no documented evidence that the Mayans themselves participated in such rituals.

For many these historical inaccuracies are unacceptable and many refuse to watch these movies because of it. But because of the aims of the movie, which is to get asses in seats, one has to exercise some measure of creative license in order to make the movie appealing to the public. If one takes: The Lord of the Rings into account. If Peter Jackson stuck to the book 100% the three movies would have been well over five hours long.

After the Passion of the Christ, Mel lost his damn mind. He make very anti semetic remarks when a Jewish police officer pulled him over for a DUI charge. He also got very very drunk one night and phoned up his now ex-lover Oksana Grigorieva and had a full go at her over the phone using quite possibly the most unacceptable language alive even by my standards, and I swear like an Irishman at the best of times.

Follow the link below to have a listen at the full conversation.

http://www.worstpreviews.com/headline.php?id=18288&count=0

To end off, my feelings towards Mel are exactly the same as towards Michael Jackson and Freddie Mercury. I don't agree, or support, what the man does in his personal life. But give the mans acting and directorial abilities the respect and credit they deserve.


Footnotes:

-In David Gemmells Tory Trilogy, he makes reference to a battle involving the Bridge of Pathia where one of his antagonists Argurios holds the bridge for the greater part of the day against vastly superior numbers. This bears similar reference to the actual Battle of Stirling Bridge.
- Peter Jackson holds the record for one of the longest movies ever made. His adaptation of King Kong is a cool 3 and a half hours long. Indecently the longest movie ever made is Gettysburg which is over four hours long.

You are not alone

There are certain events in history that have a profound affect on people that they can remember precisely where they were when that event occurred.

The first for me was when Lady Diana died. I was in a shopping center with my dad waiting to pick up my mom from work. The day that the World Trade Center was under attack from Al Qaeda I was at university.

The day Michael Jackson died I was asleep in bed. Ok fine it doesn’t sound profound, but the man died at 1:30 in the morning. Normal people are asleep at that time.

That being said my girlfriend contacted me at 1:30 and told me that she was watching the news when she saw it. I still love her, even if she has insomnia.


Michael Jackson - Billie Jean (Official Music Video) - Click here for another funny movie.

What can be said about such a great man? Jackson revolutionised the music industry. He was one of the cow boys I referred to in one of my earlier posts. He made pop what it is.

You know a musician had a profound effect on the industry when artists credit you as an inspiration to their careers. In the rock industry that man was Little Richard, in Pop its Michael Jackson. One of the highest selling artists of modern times, Puff Daddy…or is it P Diddy…. Or is it Diddy, said that Jackson made the music come alive. Like you could actually see and feel the beat instead of just listening to it.

Jackson grew up in a huge family where he was the youngest son. His old man was really obsessed with his kids taking advantage of opportunities that he never had and he encouraged his kids to make a name for themselves in music. Michael started performing with his older brothers from a young age as part of the Jackson 5. One of the earliest images of Michael was of a 6 year old kid sing ABC and Rocking Robin.

	Micheal Jackson and the Jackson 5 - Rockin' Robin
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

In 1972, at the age of 14 he made his first solo recording, Ben. He then went completely solo in 1980 and was responsible for the highest selling album of all time in Thriller.

I grew up with his music. In the 80’s you couldn’t turn on a radio or a TV without seeing Jackson. I LOVED Jackson. I was, and still am, a HUGE fan. This was to the disgust of my grandfather, who came from the apartheid era.

My earliest memory was going to a party aged 7 and all of the kids dressing up in that leather suit that Jackson wore in his Bad music video.

The thing about Jackson that was amazing was that he wrote most of his own material. and wrote songs that changed lives and peoples perception about music. One of his biggest songs of all time: Billie Jean is still one of the biggest party draw cards in the world.

And one could say he was the protagonist of the music video concept. Thriller was a 15 minute visual specticle that really kicked off music video's.

Thriller - Music Video
Uploaded by dreadcentral. - Full seasons and entire episodes online.

He was relatively quiet in the 1990’s music wise, although he did make headlines for the wrong reasons. He had a significant child molestation case hanging over his head, of which he was acquitted, as well as questions of his mental stability and sexual orientation.

He made a comeback in the 2000’s with new songs that appeared on the history album.

Say what you want to about the man, and you can have any ideas about the mans personal life. The man made good music. And its funny how the best advise about how to change your life came form a man who was ridiculed like he was.

“If you want to make the world a better place take a look at yourself and then make that change.”


There is a huge sadness associated with his death. A sense of emptiness. But I suppose this is what our parents felt when Elvis died.

Rest In Peace Michael. Legends never die.

Have a punt. but whats the Point?

Most gambling is pointless, the amount of people that have won vs the amount of people that have lost is sickingly distorted.

However, when you go to a casino, any casino, you see copious mugs paying the casino’s yearly rent, lights and water, gambling, and liquor license all in one evening.

However, most people seem to carry on punting. But why? Why do people go and punt knowing that they are going to loose? Well you see, they don’t know that. Although the ratio of people who have won at the casino’s vs the people who have lost at the casino’s is distorted, people always feel that they have a chance. That the cards will fall for them, that the ball will fall in their number, that the three 7’s will line up.

So its legalised theft where the offenders ‘unknowingly’ get away with it. However, there is a form of legalised theft where the people knowingly get away with it. And it actually GRATES MY BALLS.

7 14 15 20 22 47. No that is not the combination the safe at my house. It was last nights LOTTO numbers.

Now look at those numbers and tell me that the f’ing thing is not rigged? The chances of picking 6 numbers to win the lotto is slim. But to pick consecutive numbers to win the LOTTO is impossible.

Yet when the draw results came on TV it showed that there were no fewer then 3 winners who had to share the jackpot.

And this happens every week! EVERY WEEK TWO CONSECUTIVE NUMBERS ARE DRAWN, and someone wins.

DO ME A FAVOUR. I WASN’T BORN YESTERDAY, YOU ARE STEALING PEOPLES MONEY AND GETTING AWAY WITH IT YOU SCALY BASTARDS!

If there were three winners, why don’t they publish their names in the paper. And they mustn’t come with the crap excuse that they want to remain anonymous. Because unless you move to fekkin Jamaica the day after you win the LOTTO people are going to find out.

Ask yourself this: If a family member won the LOTTO jackpot, would I find this out without his/her name being in the paper?

If you don’t, then you are stupid! Plain and bladdy simple.

As for Nimrod Nkosi, he should have stuck with Jam Ally, 'cause prancing around the stage like a fairy isn’t working for him. Vanessa Carrera is still hot though!

Super 14 time again.

I am doing my predictions on a Thursday so that I am not under pressure to get my predictions out before the early morning result comes out.

It’s a calmer weekend this week. First up is the Blues against the Waratahs. The ‘Tahs have become very unpredictable. Before the last weekend, they hadn’t lost in Sydney in 11 matches. However, they played crap and the Crusaders won.

One thing the ‘Tahs cant do is travel. And this weekend, they will have to make the journey to New Zealand’s home of rugby, Eden Park. I spoke in the past about the Blues’ forward strength and the strength of their half backs. But over the last two weeks, Isia Toeva and Rene Ranger have hit their straps and have caused havoc. Expect much of the same this week. Blues by 10, Joel Peter agrees.

Easy win for the Bulls on Saturday in Palmerston North when they take on the Highlanders. Hopefully Brian Habanna can actually wake up on Saturday and figure out that he plays rugby for a living. The wing has been playing crap ever since he won the world cup. The Bulls forwards should take the Highlanders to the cleaners, expect Pierre Spies to run in one or two. Bulls by 15, once again Joel agrees.

I called it last week. The Crusaders are the come-back-kids of the tournament. They drew with the Force and got a win in Sydney. They play the Stormers this week at the AMI stadium. The Stormers have injury problems and have selected Peter Grant at centre with Willem De Waal to start at 10. Bozo The Clown moves to 14.

I think the Crusaders are brimming with confidence and will fancy their chances this weekend. Crusaders by 10, Joel agrees.

The Reds host the Chiefs, the Reds have no chance, Chiefs by 10, Joel agrees.

The Sharks are back at their beloved Shark Tank to inflict copious amounts of pain to the Brumbies. It will be like experiencing torture in a Viet Cong prison camp. The Brumbies might want to prove that they can win on the road, but the Sharks will be keen to cement their top position. Rory Kocket will be key in the game as Ruan Pienaar is injured. He will need to get Frans Steyn on the front foot. Ryan Kankowski is also key as the 8 9 10 axis of the Sharks has been a feature of their game since the 80’s . They’ll be too good. Sharks by 15, Joel says Sharks by 5.

It gets worse. The Lions win over the weekend has put a spanner in the works for teams hoping to make the play offs. The Hurricanes come to Ellis Park hoping to win on the road and get valuable points under their belt. However the Lions could cause an upset.

Key for the Lions to is contain Ma’a Nonu. If they can do that, they will win by plenty. However, that will be a hard task. Ill go for a Hurricanes win by 5, Joel thinks the Lions could win. BUT DON’T PUT THE HOUSE ON THIS GAME!

The Zuris team of the tournament, the Cheetahs are resting this week, Thank the Lord!

What drugs is Michael Jackson on? I reported last month that he is staging a comeback. His first stop on his world tour is London. Reports indicate that he wants to make a grand entrance onto the stage. He wants to ride in on an African Elephant, which will be led by two panthers on leashes, and a flock of exotic birds flying behind him!

This is all true, google it!

What the FEK Michael, you are becoming a Zuris. Just forget about music and retire with some dignity please!

Crisis? What crisis?

Good Monday people!

Actually, Mondays are very slow for me. It takes the Lion of Lebanon at least 2 hours at work to become remotely productive.

Anyway what a weekend.

I tend to agree with Bradley Geldenhuys’ sentiment that the financial crisis is a bunch of horse shit! I went punting on Friday night, a typical Lebanese past time, and was shocked with what I saw.

Sitting on the roulette table at Gold Reef City Casino, I exchanged my money for chips and gave myself a few rounds to have a look at how the Sharmoot Hubid was spinning the wheel and what numbers were falling. While I was observing, a rich Indian Man, with his 52 gold chains around his neck a gold bicycle chain on his arm and a gold ring on every finger, took out 10 grand and threw it on the table.

Now I’m not used to seeing money like that casually thrown around, unless its at the purchase of a parcel of Gwesh, be that as it may, the bloke got his chips and he proceeded to play as if he owned the table.

Clearly the concept of cautiousness doesn’t apply to him as me with my R250 worth of chips lasted longer then him.


I left the table and came back to have another go at the table and as I sat down, the larney came back and threw another 5 grand on the table. He was a bit luckier the second time around as when I left he was about 2 grand up.

I don’t really go to the Casino’s with the expectation of winning big, the main reason is for the atmosphere. You would think that during a financial crisis like the one that we are apparently in, people would be more cautious with their money! Fat chance of that my friends! All of the roulette tables were packed as was the blackjack tables, the machines were buzzing and the smoking section of the casino looked like the cemetary scene of Michael Jackson’s thriller with all of the mist! Mind you, a few of the Eldarado Park massive walked out there with eyes glazed over like the zombies from the said music video!

The rugby never went well! I think I only called one game correctly! YES YES I know the Sharks lost. Stop the SMS’ please! I K.N.O.W W.E. L.O.S.T! But at least we never fell apart like the Lions! I cant say that I couldn’t see it coming after the first 20 minutes. For a change the Stormers forwards finally figured out that they can actually play rugby! They were nothing short of awesome!

Liverpool blew the Reds away! If they play like this for the rest of the season then they could very well win the league!

I have stated on a number of occasions that the Lebanese love themselves! And its all very well if the girls love themselves, because frankly there is nothing nicer then a dolled up raven haired, olive skinned, hazel eyed beauty in a push up bra with stiletto high heels prancing around! But when the men love themselves and advocate it, there’s a problem!

I had my first encounter with this in high school. At the time, Fabian Khalil used to be a mainer at the Bassonia gym. He was loosing his hair and proud of it! He used to walk around the gym, stop unsuspecting ladies and ask: “Don’t you think I look a little bit like BRUCE WILLIS!” Although this is weird, you would think that was limited to the gym, but it wasn’t.

The top spot for jauling in those days was Night Fever in Fourways. One night there, before getting horribly molar, I was at the bar, and out the corner of the ear I heard, “Yes I know I look like Bruce Willis, I must admit, I’m only now getting used to the attention I get!” Strues Bob, I turn around and Fabian is Zurising himself around a number of girls!

That was nearly 10 years ago.

The latest incident of molar loving oneself happened at Santroghey this weekend! And I called it on Friday!

Warren Jaffa you legendary oak! I saw him at church on Sunday night and usually he gives me some sop story of how he is never going to drink again, and how he got on the bar counter to dance! This Sunday he tells me that he has to ask for forgiveness in church because at Santroghey on Saturday night, WARREN JAFFA, was getting dead molar, danced on the bar counter, THEN TOOK HIS SHIRT OFF, walked around the club asking girls: “Don’t you think it’s a bit nippy in here!?”

STONE COLD ZURIS!

Speaking of Zuris’, Zumatello was on the campaign trail this weekend and hit the churches! Today on Highveld Stereo he was bitching and moaning about why the public are pissed off with him campaigning at churches!

Now its all very well that you campaign at the churches and I am all for it, provided that try and bring back church values into the way you run your country. But when you walk into a Christian church and start advocating abortion and same sex marriages, you are going to get STUFFED UP! That’s how to loose votes 101!

We need to welcome a new follower to the Lions Den! Big up Ms Kerry Arrow, you legendary girl!

Nostalgia and drugs in the 80's

Bravestar
Bravestar

In a distant time
And far away place
The planet New Texas floats deep in space

Sky of three stars
Land of precious ore
The carrium rush brought outlaws by the score

Bravestar
Bravestar

Then one day a law man appeared
With powers of hawk, wolf, puma and bear
Protector of peace
Mystic man from afar
Champion of justice, Martial Bravestar

Bravestar
Bravestar
Eyes of a hawk, ears of a wolf
Bravestar
Bravestar
Strength of a bear, speed of a puma

Ok, so only some of you will know what the fek I am on about while the rest of you will think I’m psycho. Which I am slightly.

The discussion came up over lunch today about crap we used to watch in the old days, back in the 80’s, and the common thread of Bravestar came up.

For those who don’t know who Bravestar is, it was a cartoon back in the 80’s about an American Indian marshall who would stuff up hoodlums using the powers of a hawk, a wolf, a puma and a bear, which were bestowed onto him as a lighty by a shaman.

Yes I am aware that the creators of these cartoons were probably high on some shit most of the time, but this was a good cartoon.

This put on a very heavy trip of nostalgia, recollecting the programmes I used to watch on TV as a lighty.

One of the biggest shows in South Africa during the 1980’s was the A-Team, I’m sure everyone has come in contact with the A-Team at some point, but for those who haven’t basically the A Team was a bunch of soldiers from the Vietnam War who were arrested and convicted for a crime that they didn’t commit. They escaped from the PO PO and hid in the LA underground where they survive as soldiers of fortune. Basically, if you had enough money and you can find them, you could hire them.

Once again the creators of the show were on some shit when writing the stories, because in one episode, they are hired to flush hoodlums out of a convicted building in the Bronx. Why I say this is a bunch of crap is because surely if this was the case then the A-Team would have already had a go at rectifying the Nigerian Embassy in Johannesburg, otherwise known as Ponti!

Shaka Zulu was also HUGE in the 1980’s, just listening to the title track: we are growing that send chills down my spine some 15 years since the show was aired. Here the creators were on less drugs, the series shows the expansion of the Zulu Empire under Shaka Zulu, King of the Zulu empire. Who led the only army to ever defeat the British army with no projectile weapons. This occurred at The Battle of Islandwana.

There is just something about watching the Brits getting stuffed up that fills my heart with pride.

One of the first sporting events that I watched as a lighty was the 1992 cricket world cup, which was held in Australia. I woke up at 2 in the morning to watch the match between South Africa and Pakistan where Jonty Rhodes ran out Inzamam-ul-Haq with a full stretch dive at the stumps. Of course Wrestle Mania 1 was also a big thing back then.

Then came the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, once again, cartoonists on drugs. Any story that revolves around a bunch of mutated turtles with ninja capabilities that eat pizza and are trained by a rat is a show on drugs. What makes it even worse was the whole “re-branding” attempt. The public, especially the Japs, felt that ninjas were not the right image for the turtles as the turtles were crime fighters fighting for justice, morals and all of that crap, while ninjas were assassins for hire back in feudal Japan.

Other things big in the eighties, besides drugs and cartoonists using drugs, included Michael Jackson, dressing like, Michael Jackson, hairstyles, and fekd up fashion.

Just as aside, this has nothing to do with the post, I was at gym last night and as I walked in there was a middle aged wanger, please read wangers and mash below, talking to another dude , who was surprisingly fully clothed. So the wanger asks the dude if he has his skipper license, and the dude with his clothes on asks "Is this for boats?" I literally stopped in my tracks and had to stop myself from laughing. Because excuse me,  I so use my skippers license to drive my feking car on the road! ONLY IN THE SOUTH MY FRIEND, ONLY IN THE SOUTH!

Celebraties on the Run

From time to time i will use language which is not familiar with everyone. a new addition to my blog is the dictionary at the bottom

One of the sectors of society that needs to be praised on regular occasions is the celebrity industry. The entertainment value from the industry is priceless.

One of the biggest celebrity gossip stories to hit the waves over the last month was the Joost ‘doos’ Van Der Westhuizen haish movie. Allegedly, I say allegedly because none of this has been proven and I don’t want the askria knocking on my door for info, Joost was seen in a haish video with a woman, who could or could not be a sharmooto. In the movie, Joost was seen doing Cocaine, sniffing it off her stomach mind you, and engaging in a 29 minute oral sex session.

There are conflicting reports about this. Joost says it is not him because the sabbah in the video wore polo socks and has holes in his kelsoon. Joost also says that the sabbah has a bigger zub then him.

Firstly who will admit the fact that the sabbah has a bigger zub then you, that’s just thik! Also claiming that Amour doesn’t buy him polo socks is a weak argument as the sharmooto could be a freak and asked him to wear the socks. And the fact that his kelsoon has holes in just points to the fact that Joost is a dirty bastard!

Anyway we digress, apparently the video was produced to blackmail Joost, perhaps the sharmoot wants money, perhaps Joost dissed her when they met at a bar in Hatfield long ago.

Heat magazine is adamant it is Joost in the video. In the latest issue of the magazine, the journalist involved produced pictures of Joost on the field and Joost in the video and various distinguishing features, such as a f’d up finger and a scar above his navel is present in both pictures. THE SAGA CONTINUES! Apparently, Luke Watson is a suspect in the matter after a spectators board at Loftus indicates that Watson also wears polo socks and is as equally dirty as Joost, because he too has holes in his kelsoon.

Apparently, psycho case Michael Jackson is planning on making a comeback, This comeback will include a world tour of immense proportions. One of the stops is here in SA.

I was always a fan of the bastard and liked his music. Granted his sexual orientation is highly questionable and there wont be mother leaving their 10 year olds with him, but SA is the perfect place for him to tour. The last time he wanted to come here he was a young black man, now he is middle aged white woman so he wont be recognised.

The question is: Is Jackson touring because he is short of Tom?, Is he touring to run away from Sheikh Abdullah Bin Haman Bin Isa Al-Khalifa?

Just to give you an overview on how heavy the situation really is, Jackson was looking for a place to hide in 2006 after getting chirped nearly everywhere he went. After striking up a good friendship with Sheikh Abdullah, the Sheikh of Bahrain, Jackson relocated to the country. I was living and working in the United Arab Emirates at the time, and Jacksons relocation caused a stir.

Anyway so Jackson has been living in Bahrain since 2006 and has been quietly watching his former fortune get eaten away by lawyers and the credit crisis. Wanting to do something good for society, Jackson was planning to record an album to aid Hurricane Katrina victims. He had no Tom, so he asked Sheikh Abdullah for £4.7 million to record the album. The Sheikh loaned him the money, but is now suing Jackson after no album was made!

There are significant concerns over Afrikaans star , Steve Hoffmeyer’s well being as the Huisgenoot reported last month that the singer was suffering from a “bloedkont”, which could be a bloedklot, but could actually be a bloedkont as Hoffmeyer’s sexuality is a huge talking point!

Robbie Wessels is at it again, the plank has made a new song that will no doubt be a hit in Parys. The Poena is Koning star has just recorded: JAN JAN JAN, which has been used in the player 23 advert on MNET. Mind you he was responsible for the Afrikaans version of the survivor classic ‘Eye of the Tiger’, if only Stallone knew!