South Africa has become Comedy Central

Salamu

Sometimes you can’t blame people for watching news about South Africa and thinking that it is a script for a sitcom on Comedy Central. Some might even venture as far as Cartoon Network when they watch news about the ANC or South African trade unions.

Hi Im Sabina Essa. Nobody paid attention to me as a child
and although I have a smoking hot body
I get attention by tweeting about being a dumbass. 

The week started when a FHM model tweeted about bribing a metro cop and being proud of the fact that she got away with it.

Sabina Essa was pulled over by the Johannesburg Metro Police Department  for going 140 km/h in a 60 km/h zone. Normally this would warrant a R2 000 fine or a court appearance. But the cop asked her how much money she had on her and she got out of a R2 000 with get this...R30! She tweeted about it and caught the attention of some top brass people in the justice department who told her that her future career as a lawyer is in danger if she is caught for a criminal offence or soliciting a bribe.

I have so many problems with this story.

A) this girl, like Jessica Leandra Dos Santos and her other girlfriend Tshidi Thamana, are giving every model out there a bad name. Just because these girls have shit for brains does not the other girls do, but of course the world will think that.

B) she came out at the end and said she tweeted this to get the attention of her followers. Um...there are far better ways of doing this. Pose for a few racy pics and provide your fans with a link. Or go do some community service you dumb bitch!  

WARNING: Low Brain Content.
 Expletives on request.
 Damaging career...vital part of DNA

C) surely you should know that lawyers are supposed to UPHOLD THE LAW even those studying to be lawyers.

D) what’s drugs are the metro police on? Letting a girl get out of a R2 000 fine with R30? You could have at least got R500. She didn’t have that much money on her. Get the handcuffs out and you will see how quickly R500 will appear in her hand.

E) do the JMPD not know that she should have been ARRESTED ON THE SPOT! Corrupt bastards! Corrupt!

And then came the big story of the week. Scarcely a week after pointing out how rife racism still is in our country, Cape Town artist Brett Murray produces a painting of Jacob Zuma with his wang out.

Do you have such little respect for the president of the country that you do some shit like that? No man...NO MAN...deserves to have that happen to them.

Obviously this garnered alot of media attention with the ANC calling Murray a racist and taking the art gallery that was showing the painting (the Goodman Gallery) to court, where the ANC lawyer broke down in tears in the court room when the judge asked him a very valid question.

I have already pointed out one of my problems with this story. But I do have a few more.

A) Why has this garnered so much news space when there are people with no water, no homes, no food and no jobs and E TV have round the clock coverage of dancing ANC supporters and the court case.

Fact: since the ANC came into power in 1994 20% of South Africans don’t have houses to live in and don’t have running water and decent basic services.

Fact: Unemployment is currently 40%

These are two good reasons that media coverage should be given to other things.

B) the painting was destroyed when two people walked into the Goodman Gallery and threw paint on the painting. So if the painting is destroyed what is the point of the courtcase? All you are doing now is wasting taxpayers money.

C) the leader of the National Union of Mine Workers wants their male members to march naked to the Goodman Gallery. First of all did not not progress out of the nappy stage where you want to act like a child and Secondly you are 60 years old, nobody wants to see that shit.

Mei jua daima kuwa kabla yenu, na vivuli nyuma yako!

Is it art? Or is it perverse entertainment at someone's expense?

Everyone needs to take a chill pill and enjoy my next model profile!

Salamu


A lot of bull shit has happened since my last post. And it actually goes back to the fact that no matter how many years of democracy we have had...we are still as racist as shit!

I have been an outspoken advocate of not judging models by their appearance. The old mind set that models  have great bodies but shit for brains is quite frankly ludacris, and I have tried to point this out. But no matter how hard I have worked at this, there is always someone who will say some stupid shit and regress mankind's thought process.

Former FHM top model winner Jessica Leandra Dos Santos was shopping in a supermarket two weeks ago and was harassed by a worker from the supermarket. He threw her a few wolf whistles and asked if she would be his weekend special. Apparently he was very "up in her face about it". Lord alone knows how she dealt with the situation at the supermarket but she got home and left a tirade of racial slurs on Twitter calling the man the K word (which is unacceptable in South Africa and is Arabic for non believer).

In all honesty she should have known better. You know the history of the country....dont use that word. She would have been better off slapping the man or kicking him in the balls, which he deserved.

Then after that...another model...Tshidi Thamane (who was obviously not happy with Dos Santos) came out on Twitter and caused a racial war by saying she wished all white people were killed when Peter Mokaba sang "Kill the Boer" during apartheid.

PEOPLE! Do you guys not believe in making love and not war? What's Blood Got To Do With It? Say what you want to about Dos Santos and call her actions unacceptable and MOVE ON!

But just like the irresponsible journalists who have destroyed the reputation of all others...we need to remember that these aggrivators are the minority and that there are some very intelligent and eloquent people out there.

To prove this I have unearthed more stunning talent.

Mabibi na Mabwana...naomba kuwasilisha...Boitumelo Kgopane Thelma.

Question 1

Billy Ocean was thinking of me when he sang African Queen

Please discuss how your parents feel about your modelling? Do they ask you every day when you are going to get a real job?

When it comes to my parents in terms of my modeling career they have been very supportive, especially my father. He always tries to make me feel better when things dont go well ,telling me to be patient. And they never ask such questions, that when am I going find a real job because they know my passion, they know whats right for me. In fact, they keep telling me to hug on there and wait for my opportunity to bloom, to shine and make my dream come true.

Question 2
Culturally there is a major difference between White and African cultures and how parents relate to their kids. How did your parents react the first time you told them you want to do this?

My parents were very fascinated when they first heard me sharing my dream of becoming a model with them because I have been doing it since I was young. I am the former Miss VP, former Miss Mohodi and I participated in many modelling competitions during my childhood. They just said we saw it coming and my dad said go get it my dear ,make your dream come true.

Question 3
What is your take on the recent racial wars which have erupted over twitter and facebook? Please discuss.

My take on the racial wars is simple...they must just get a grip. South Africa has come a long way ,so people must wake up n realise that these country is for us all. Democracy is here to stay. They must revisit the history of the country so that they can know what to say and what not to say.

Question 4
How would you have reacted if you were confronted by a similar situation?


It would have been a very traumatic event. It would have broken my confidence a bit but in the end I would have found a way to put everything behind me.

Question 5
What inspired you to go into modelling?


The natural passion I have and my role models Naomi Campell, Basetsana Khumalo, Bonang Mateba and Tyra Banks.

Question 6
How does your boyfriend feel about your modelling career and how did he react the first time you broke the news to him?


My boyfrnd was not surprised at all because he knew me from my childhood as we all attended the same school. He knew that I had passion for modeling so he is very supportive and always encouraging me not to lose hope and to be patient. When I told him that I wanted to go deep into modeling he just said go for it.

Question 7
Do you struggle with drunken guys hitting on you in bars and how do you let them down?

Guys are always problematic, but I just ignore them.Its the way some men are like when they see a woman its like the see thier sex toys, but I dont take them serious ...

Quickies
Question 8
Food: Italian or Indian?

Italian food do for me

Question 9
Cars: American, German or Japenese?


German...BMW or a Mercedes Benz

Question 10
First Date: Dinner and Movies or Picnic in the park?


Dinner and movies

Question 11
When is it acceptable to be drunk in front of your man and is he going to get action that night?


Unfortunately my man and I dont drink alcohol.

Question 12
Who would win in a pillow fight between yourself and Adele Coetzee? And would this fight take place fully clothed or in revealing bikini’s?


I would win the pilow fight ,with a revealing bikini.

Question 13
And finally, how do feel about the boys at the Noord Street taxi rank and how they act towards woman when they lose their minds every now and again?


What the boys at the  Noord Street Taxi Rank are doing is nonsensic and totally unacceptable in a democartic civilized country like our own. They must get a grip and grow up. Man up and stop acting like barbarians. I dont take them seriously mentally. I doubt thier mental capacity allows them to act normally.

Nothing like taking things a bit rustic.

In other news. Racism seems to be prevalent in school rugby as well. 

One of the country's top rugby school made headlines this week for the wrong reasons. DR EG Jansen was playing in a Beeld trophy rugby match against Hoerskool Kempton Park. EG Jansen lost in the last seconds of the game when Kempton Park defended like Trojans.

After the whistle, the assistant coach from EG Jansen went and gave the referee an earful. He then walked away and came back at the referee who had his back turned and shoulder charged him. What made the situation worse is that EG Jansen is an Afrikaans school with no black players in the team, and the coach shoulder charged a BLACK referee. 

There goes his rugby coaching career all because he made a poor decision. Shoulder charging a white ref is enough to get him suspended or fired, but the fact that he was a black ref made the situation worse.

Mei jua daima kuwa kabla yenu, na vivuli nyuma yako!

The Avengers and Blonde Bombshells!

Salamu

So over the extra long weekend that we enjoyed here in sunny South Africa I whent and watched The Avengers with some family.

What a great movie. The Marvel franchise never disapoints cant wait for the next Avengers movie to come out, which will apparently be after Thor 2, Captain America 2 and Iron Man 3.

This picture says it all. And it is so typical of me. I'd actually sign my last will and testiment while stretching for a session of dalaing Scarlett.

An impish beauty I am.

I have also just recently started watching the first season of Homeland and Game of Thrones. Yest I am behind...I am aware of these things. But I will get with the programme soon. I cant wait to see if the Starks and the Lanisters have words and beat the shit out of each other!

There is a common thread in all of this with my unearthing of more breathtaking talent from our nations capital (and this time it is a blonde!)

Scarlett Johansson is to me the most beautiful girl in the world (Q the Prince music please) and I would literally sell everything I own to dala her. Which I would film and then sell on the internet to make back what I sold off. Emilia Clarke (Daenerys Targaryen in the Game of Thrones series) is another beauty!

She isn't a looker in the photo...but trust me...watch Game of Thrones and see for yourself.

But we have our own set of beauties in SA and in my next instalment of bring forward models of exceptional beauty. Mabibi na Mabwana...I give you...Ms Charlotte Naude.

I was always told that the quiet person is the one that will supprise you the most and my own personal experiance is that the innocent ones are the naughtiest ones in the world. well if that is the case then Ms Naude will prove to be quite an handful (if you would please excuse the pun)!

Question 1

Making pools look good since my life!

Robert Mugabe and Julius Malema are drowning in a lake. Do you take a picture in black and white or in colour?

Color photo

Question 2
Which is a better jaul plek? Hatfield or Menlen?

 Menlyn

Question 3
Have you ever been to teasers or any other strip joint?

 Never

Question 4
Please describe your ideal holiday location and what would you do on this holiday?

Uhmslanga rocks, swimming,tanning, shoping & partying.

Question 5
Do you struggle to walk in shopping centers without turning a few heads?

 Yes

Question 6
Do you struggle to go out without a drunk guy trying their luck on you?

Yes

Question 7
How much money can a girl spend on school before it gets out of hand?

R12.000

Quickies
Question 8
Burgers and fries or Pizza?

Pizza

Question 9
Cameron Diaz or Eva Mendez?

Cameron Diaz

Question 10
First Date: Dinners and Movies or Skitting at a club?

 Dinner and Movies

Question 11
When is it acceptable to be drunk on a date with your ou and will he get action that night?

Birthday Date, and yes

Question 12
Men: Vin Diesel or Daniel Craig?

 Vin Diesel

Question 13
How much money would you need to be paid to be Jacob Zuma’s next wife?

Not even all the money in the world would be enough

Mei jua daima kuwa kabla yenu, na vivuli nyuma yako!

I don't come as a free gift when you enlist in the army. But  I look good in combat gear don't I?