Bones to Pick.

Salamu

There is nothing more irritating than a person who argues just for the sake of having an argument! Unfortunately my life is FULL of these people.

Despite what my family will tell you, I am actually a very easy person to get along with as there is a very short list of things that rub me up the wrong way. As discussed above arguing for the sake of it is one of those qualities. Another is arrogance.

True Story

Unfortunately these two qualities are very good stable companions and enjoy a quite sordid love affair. These qualities are very evident in a certain member of my family.

This person thinks that the sun shines out of his arse and when he sits down the world is in darkness. I went to his house over the weekend to watch some of the Olympic games and he said that if he was English he would be very upset about them making all of the announcements in French before English. I try to explain to him that this is tradition and we had a heated argument for 20 minutes on the subject. One of the modules of a subject I studied to get my degree was on the history of the modern Olympic games so I do know a bit about the history of Barron Pierre deCoubertin’s vision.

And even when I went to him the next day with my Varsity text book with the information in he refused to acknowledge that he was wrong. Mind you…should I expect anything less from a person who’s favorite saying is: “people often misjudge confidence for arrogance.” Any person who proudly proclaims that is as arrogant as shit!

While we are on the subject of the Games let me make a quick note saying that when one looks at the piss poor quality of the London opening ceremony one appreciates how great the Chinese are.

Only in the movies

My second bone to pick is about Batman.

Disclaimer: The following information may contain information about The Dark Knight Rises which you may not want to know because you haven’t seen the movie yet. Please desist from reading and revisit this post at a later stage. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Does anyone have the contact information for Jonathan Nolan? An E Mail address will do.

All I want to do is send him a nice little E Mail asking for the money that I spend on The Dark Knight Rises back.

All that can be said about this picture is: wow!

I went into the movie with high expectations because Batman Begins and the Dark Knight were simply awesome. However, this was not the case with The Dark Knight Rises. The story line was far to long and the only thing that made Batman is his gadgets. That’s his super powers. So why take them away from him. It’s like taking away Superman’s strength and ability to fly and say: “Now go save the world!”

On the plus side… we will always have The Dark Knight and Anne Hathaway is quite delectable in The Dark Knight Rises.

Well done to Cameron van den Berg on winning South Africa’s first gold medal at the 2012 games and major props for becoming the first male swimmer from South Africa to win gold. Let’s hope the world sticks it to Team GB!

Mei jua daima kuwa kabla yenu, na vivuli nyuma yako!

Looking back on life

Salamu

Have you ever sat back, re-looked at your life and start to develop feelings that your current life is not as on track as it was five or ten years ago? This is often followed by feelings of regret, resentment or general displeasure. 

This is currently the situation that I am faced with. And while I am on an honesty streak on my blog I might as well put it down here in the hope that someone will comment with some suggestions on mitigating factors that I need to put in place in addition to the ones that I will name at the end. 

First of all, lets look at what was happening in my life five years ago (because 10 years ago i was at university and all i had to care about was drink and honeys). I was working my way up the ranks at South Africa's top Engineering and Mining Magazine, I was getting to expand my horizons in the sense that I was going on business trips to Zimbabwe and Zambia (not top of everyone's bucket list of places to visit...but how many y'all been there? thought so!), I was flirting shamlelessly with a girl I would eventually fall in love with, there were parties and weekends getting molar causing trouble with the askria, I was popular with a number of people and had a range of friends that I could have a good time with. All was good. 

But life has a way of happening. It has a way of taking you down off that pedestal that you put yourself on and it throws a whole lot of bullshit at you to see if it can destroy you. and that's a fact of life....it ain't for p###ies. (im sorry if that offends some people. but it is the best description of it). 

I am now in a position where I sit at night in Durban asking myself where it all when't wrong. which also kind of kills me because I have wanted to live in Durban my whole life and now that I am here my life is VERY far from the perfect one I imagined I would have. 

I think it all started when I thought I knew everything about myself and there was no room fro growth. One stupid decision on my part (a momentary lapse of reason which caused me to have a brain f##k ) was the main cause of a breakup which affected me emotionally and took me a long LONG time to recover from. I over reacted and tripped about one STUPID ASS status update on Facebook and got my shit f##ked up. 

So here is lesson number one. Be careful which woman you are jealous with and especially be careful about what to be jealous about. Women like guys to be jealous within reason because it shows you care, but if you are jealous around the wrong girls and jealous about the wrong thing. Don't say the Lion of Lebanon didn't warn you. 

Another thing which affected me bad was the death of my dad. and whats surprising is that if you knew me and saw how me and my dad were with each other you would have thought I would say this. My dad and I hated each other and the way we lived our lives. But that don't change the fact that he was my dad and he loved me in his own way. He died alone without my mom or me next to him. The fact that I didn't get to say goodbye to him is something that will hurt me for the rest of my life. Especially since I promised myself it would be different after the death of my grandfather. You see...I also didn't get to say goodbye to him. 

Lesson number two. Be generous with your love while you still have people to give it to. Tell your family everyday that you love them. Even if they think you crazy, even if they think you killed somebody or are on drugs, even if they cuss you because you are repeating yourself. Take it from me...you don't want to live life with the regret I have. 

Transform yourself into an emotional version of a wolverine.
Wolverines are mean bastards who ain't scared of shit!

The last thing...and quite possibly the most important thing...is to live life how you want to. And before you try and bring things into your life, sort your own life out first. Ever since my last relationship I have dated a few girls and have put my heart on the line because I am getting to the stage now where I want to find someone to settle down with and have a family with. But I have done all of this without seeing to myself and sorting my life out. At the time I would be heartbroken and despondent questioning how this can happen to me. But now...looking back...if I want to find someone who I am going to spend the majority of my life with, how can I expect them to join me on the journey if I am a broken man? Especially since so much emotional investment goes into relationships, you have to be the emotional version of a Wolverine where only real world shit affects you. Because if you going to have emotional breakdowns over every little obstacle in life, then marriage and children will kill you. Plain and simple. 

Lesson number three. Take time out for yourself. Go on a weekend alone. Spend some time in your own company with your phone off. Cut off communication with the outside world. learn to say: F##k them I ain't answering. Fix yourself and make yourself the BEST product you can possibly be before inviting someone along to sample the goods. 

One again I would love to hear your thoughts. Comment below or pop me a mail at: jonathan.faurie@gmail.com

Mei jua daima kuwa kabla yenu, na vivuli nyuma yako!

Some Days.

Salamu

Most days, I wake up relatively happy with the world. Content with the hand that life has dealt me. Determined to look life in the eye at the end of the day an say: "Is that the best you have? I'm still standing." We live to fight another day.  To look the storm that rages around you in the eye and say: "Do your worst for I will surely do mine." These are the days we live for.

Then there are some days. These are the days where life does get you down, where no matter how happy and optimistic you are...life has a way of getting to you. When you look into the eye of the storm that rages around you and you crawl back into a little hole that has four walls. Your safety barrier against vulnerability no matter how fragile it is. It might be house of cards, but its your house and to you it is impenetrable.

And we all get these days. Anyone who tells you that they wake up 100% happy with the world every single day is either a liar or is on drugs.

I am really taking a chance with this post. A work colleague of mine who has gone through some of the same stuff I have been through has said that writing on her blog is her release mechanism. Hopefully I get the same release with this post.

I have never been lucky in love. Like all young people, I have had my share of flings, but I have never been lucky in love. I have loved two girls in my life and only ever truly loved one.

During all of this time I had a rival. A really good friend who was in constant competition with me in the girls. Every girl I pursued he was never far behind. He was even, in part, responsible for the break up between me and the girl I truly loved.

And through all this time I have never felt contempt for this rival of mine. Never hated him, never resented him. Even after all he did, I just could not hate the man. I heard last night that he has finally found love with a good girl and instead of damming the relationship, I felt a genuine sense of happiness for him.

Some say its because I am a staunch Catholic and hate is not something we believe in, but it is not that.

A discussion with a person who is really dear to me opened my eyes and made me see that the reason I cant hate this man is that he was not the real reason for my doomed relationships that it was in fact fate playing a greater hand or the other party being the ultimate cause.

Have you ever had that sick feeling in your stomach. The feeling that only panic or shock can bring about? That is exactly what happened to me last night. In 20 minutes, three years of justification and analytical explanations came tumbling down. In 20 minutes, 30 years of living according to life being about black and white was disproven and torn apart.

I was shown that I have lived the greater part of my life in a bubble. Shielded from the real world and choosing to live in a world of my own creation. Sometimes this is good, but long term it is unhealthy because life will always try to bring you down. Perhaps this is a humorous attempt to bring me back down to earth.

I sometimes feel like John Snow from Game of Thrones. Loved by those around him, but resented and loathed by the world. It is all very well that I have people who love me, but its family and friends who will love you regardless. What is the achievement in that? I appreciate it  and am grateful for it, but I still get the feeling of asking why the rest of the world cant feel the same toward me that my family and close friends do?

Tomorrow I will hopefully be back to my normal self. Ready to put upbeat off the cuff content on this blog which is appealing. For for today, this is just me...nothing more, nothing less.

Mei jua daima kuwa kabla yenu, na vivuli nyuma yako!

There are lots of reasons to love the new Spiderman movie.

Salamu

First off let me give a major shout out to my US audience for achieving over 6 000 page views. You play a huge part in the reason that this blog continues its blog posting greatness.

This is essentially what my post today is about listening to the people and taking their words to heart.

I reluctantly ventured out this weekend to go and see the latest offering of Spiderman (or Raboobie for my Xhosa fan base). I say reluctantly because I waited with eager anticipation when the first film adaptation of Spiderman came out and Toby Maguire just sucked ass! But in all fairness to Maguire, there was not much he could have done with a weak story line and sucky directing.

If there is one thing The Amazing Spiderman shows is how awesome one of the weaker superheros in the Marvel Universe can be with a strong story line and awesome directing.

Below is my personal quintessential list as to why The Amazing Spiderman is so awesome:

- There is a good backstory. It is human nature to connect better with a person who is experiencing loneliness and social embattlement when we know WHY the person is feels the way that they do. The fact that at the beginning of the movie we see why Peter Parker is so amazingly clever actually gives you this sense of not being able to do anything but like the guy.

- There is a good current story which interweaves with the good backstory. This was the main weakness of the previous Spiderman offerings. I think that because the previous directors were so focused on drawing in a young audience they alienated the masses who were actually looking forward to the movie. It seems as if the new story writers have taken a leaf out of the Dark Knights page and have developed the story in such a way that it will attract an old and young audience alike.

- Real life shit happens in the movie. The days of the classical ending of everybody being alive and happy at the end of the movie are gone. Sometimes the hero doesn't always save the day. Killing off Cptn Stacy at the end of the movie was a stroke of genius because it all of a sudden takes the story and makes it so adaptable that it transcends the barrier between fantasy and reality.

- The antagonist has a internal battle between good and evil. In Islam there is a greater and a lesser Jihad (Jihad is a noun which translates into struggle). The lesser Jihad is the holy war which we have seen on the TV many times, but the  greater Jihad is the fight between good and evil WITHIN ONES SELF. If there is one aspect of Islam that i as a Christian embrace it is this. No person is 100% good and neither is one person 100% evil. This is the truth about human nature. So when an antagonist is 100% bad he is unbelievable. The fact that Dr Curt Connors is constantly battling with himself and his morality over the things he has done makes his actions justifiable and believable. Where does he show his struggle? Well throughout the film, when he questions the timing of human testing of the serum, when he initially believes that the serum will help those who want a second chance at life as a normal human, and finally when he saves Spiderman at the end instead of letting him fall to his death.

These my friends are the four main reasons why the new Spiderman is better tan the older ones.

Emma Stone is also more believable in her role as Spiderman's love interest then Kirsten Dunst. Granted, Stone will not be Spidermans love interest for long (she doesn't play Mary Jane) but she is just move believable then Dunst ever was

If I had to be critical. There is only one point of the movie which is inaccurate. In the original Spiderman comics, Spiderman gained the ability to shoot webs which his body manufactured. In The Amazing Spiderman, Spidy builds machines that do that. Directors need to learn to stick to the original stories. Its like making Pegasus black. Who does that?

Mei jua daima kuwa kabla yenu, na vivuli nyuma yako!

FIFA 13 to follow set formula to continue brand popularity

Salamu

FIFA 13, the latest version of the popular football based gaming brand developed by Electronic Arts, looks set to continue the popularity of the brand by following a marketing strategy which has made the FIFA brand one of the best selling gaming franchises of all time.

The concept that EA follows is simple. Release the game across all game playing platforms, listen to input from users when developing the next installment of the franchise and incorporate strategic thinking when deciding on the best release date for the next installment of the franchise.

One of the most important aspects that makes the game popular is that EA spends as much money as possible to make its titles as realistic as possible.  In FIFA 11 and FIFA12, a huge number of players are meticulously digitized using expensive motion capture technology so the exact movement of the player can be replicated in the game. Fans who regularly watch live broadcasts of soccer matches could recognize the similar gait and movement of their favorite players, especially if they plaid for a popular club.

One of the major complaints in the past was that players were able to run through the opposing team as if they weren’t standing there. In FIFA 11, the collision mechanics have been revised to provide a good level of body jostling and physical bumps.

Another reason that makes the brand so popular is EA’s strategic thinking on setting the release dates of the titles.

When EA developed its first game in the franchise, FIFA International Soccer (known as FIFA94 in some markets), it decided to launch the game in 1993 in the weeks leading up to the busy Christmas period. At the time the game was available across all platforms that were developed at the time so EA was hoping to cash in on this. EA  played around with the release dates of some of the other titles in the franchise but returned to the end of year release date with FIFA 2000 and has not changed it since.

To date, the franchise has sold over 100 million copies since the inception of the brand.  This places it into an elite club where it is one of two sports based games to reach this milestone.

These sales were helped in part by the extreme popularity of FIFA 11, which was released soon after the 2010 Fifa World Cup and sold 2.6 million units, and FIFA12, which sold 3.2 million units.

This makes it the most popular football based game in the market. Its closest competitor Pro Evolution Soccer, which is developed by Konami, has sold 76.13 million units. In fact, Konami was so impressed by the sales of FIFA12 that it said in a statement that its game has lost ground to FIFA in certain markets.

FIFA13 is set to be even more realistic as FIFA12
as gamer's have to out muscle opponents when
balling for possession in the  same way real
footballers do. 

With FIFA13, EA might be taking the realism and specialized game play of the title to new levels. In a statement released by the company, the new additions to the game play will include attacking intelligence: where players have the ability to analyze space, work harder and smarter to break down the defense, complete dribbling, where players face opponents and use precise dribble touches combined with true 360-degree mobility with the ball and first touch control, a new system which transforms the way players control the ball.

This makes the game as close to real life as possible without physically being on the pitch with the players, a feature which has contributed to the brands success over the 18 years since the first title.

Mei jua daima kuwa kabla yenu, na vivuli nyuma yako!

Truths about life.

Salamu

Before I forget. Big props to my South African audience for going over the 3 000 visitors mark. And possibly by the time this post is a day old I will have 6 000 visitors from the US. 

Shot Boys. 

I am a bit obsessive about certain things. One of those is my mad love for Bob Marley. Besides the fact that he sang Reggae and there were RUMORS that he smoked a pond o' weed a day, the life lessons that the man gave us is at times unfathomable. 

Some lyrics from his song war: 

Until the philosophy which hold one race superior 

And another 

Inferior 

Is finally 

And permanently 

Discredited 

And abandoned - 

Everywhere is war - 

Me say war. 

This is very true for South Africa during the Apartheid years or even Rwanda during the genocide between the Hutus and the Tutsis.

That until there no longer 

First class and second class citizens of any nation 

Until the colour of a man's skin 

Is of no more significance than the colour of his eyes - 

Me say war. 

That until the basic human rights 

Are equally guaranteed to all, 

Without regard to race - 

Dis a war. 

Is there no more significant time to reflect on these words then right now while there is big shit kicking of in Syria?

Granted, Marley's song WAR (where the above lyrics come from) is an adaptation of a speech made by Emperor  Haile Selassie I who the Rastafarian's saw as the Messiah. But Selassie said it, Marley sang about it. And there is a big difference between the two!

I knew quite a bit about Marley going into watching the Biography titled Marley. As I have said on my blog before, reading the book: No Woman, No Cry: My Life with Bob Marley Rita Marley, Hettie Jones provides thoughtful insight into the life of the man. But I have a new appreciation for the man after watching Marley (which I highly recommend by the way). 

In the Biography. The interviewer was sitting down with Bob and talking to him about the attempted shooting on him. The interviewer asked if Bob was afraid. He said that he doesn't live in fear because his life is not his own. He lives life to make other peoples life meaningful.

Now for a Rastafarian, he lives out the Christian principle of helping and serving the poor far better than a number of Christians I know. 

I know this post is very long and quite possibly laborious. And it might not even appeal to a person who is not a Bob Marley fan.  But the point I am trying to make is that people....we must open our eyes to the world....because you never know who touches a cord inside you to make life more clear. More meaningful. 

Mei jua daima kuwa kabla yenu, na vivuli nyuma yako!

London Olympics social media faux pas

Salamu

The countdown has begun to what will be one of the best Olympic Games of all time. In 17 days athletes and swimmers from all over the world will walk into London's Olympic Stadium to kick off what will be two weeks of fierce competition. 

Athletes and swimmers at this years games will be able to take advantage of alot of things. They will be able to have proper fish and chips, they will be able to ride on a proper public transport system which actually works, and they will be able to take advantage of loose well fit Essex and Geordie birds which will virtually be fed to they on tap. 

Athletes and Swimmers will have a plethora
of  fit Essex and Geordie birds on tap.
Lucky Bastards!

I must admit that I am a bit envious about that last advantage but I have had my days of enjoying the wonders of loose Essex and Geordie birds.


We digress, so there are actually advantages of having the Olympic Games in London (believe it or not), but one thing that a number of athletes and swimmers will not be able to do is tweet about their experiences.


Let me just put a disclaimer in here: I am in no way accusing the IOC of censorship nor am I saying that they are forcefully banning athletes and swimmers from Twitter. It is the individual countries participating in the games that impose this ban. Not the IOC or the London Organizing Committee. 


And we all have to thank Samoan international rugby player Eliota Fuimaono Sapolu for this. He really had alot to say during last years Rugby World Cup accusing the IRB of being a slave organisation and then he had a go at the referee who blew the game between South Africa and Samoa. 


Whether this was right or wrong, it damaged the IRB for two reasons. It drew attention to the fact that they are possibly a little uncaring about the smaller unions and the fact that the IRB lashed out at Sapolu so severely it was like they were desperately trying to either hide something or shift the attention away from an aspect that could embarrass the organisation. 


True every player has a right to voice his opinion, but there are systems and processes in place to do this. And experience has taught me not to try and fight the system head on. 


I think that the public in general do not fully understand the powerful role that social media platforms like Twitter and Facebook can play. We all know about the role that Facebook played in organizing the London Riots in 2011 and the Egyptian Revolution in 2011/12.  


There have been many theories discussing the concept of Marshall McLuhan's theory of the Global Village. Some say that it was achieved with the invention of radio, others TV. But to me these are merely the first steps in the journey towards it, not even the internet has achieved the level of global conductibility in one space that  social media has.  


Mei jua daima kuwa kabla yenu, na vivuli nyuma yako!

Word of the Day

Salamu

First of all, congratulations to Spain on winning their third Euro and their second back-to-back. Muchas Gracias por mostrar a los Italianos que no es dueño del mundo del fútbol. Y gracias por el cierre de la soberbia poco de mierda a Mario Balotelli.

Right down to the business of the day. This is going to actually turn into a word of the day post. As always I turn to urbandictionary.com as a reference for these pieces. All words and descriptions can be cross referenced there.

Brock Lesner is going to F5 a Great White? CHINGALO!

Word: Chingalo
Meaning: in mexico people use it to say "fuck it!"
Stephanie Milan is sitting at home...chilling...watching the food channel when all of a sudden the door to her house gets kicked in, smoke grenades get thrown into the house, and a SWAT team bursts through the door. Apparently they were acting on information that a computer from that address had been used to post threats (including references to explosives) against the police and members of police officer's families, via Topix.com

Look I know that you shouldn't joke about shit like that and the police have every right to take these threats seriously. But Chingalo...did SWAT have to come and get the computer? Why not the local law enforcement? I thought SWAT were only called in during extreme situations such as hostage situations and high profile narc cases, hence the meaning of SWAT: Special Weapons And Tactics. Stephanie...girl...all of a sudden you became an extreme situation. And why did SWAT need to kick the door down and throw smoke grenades in the house to seize a computer?

ONLY IN AMERICA!

Is that what you call sleeping it off? Que Poca Madre

Word: Poca Madre
Meaning:literal:"motherless". mex.slag. 1/ used for descrbe something is realy fucking cool, 2/ used to describe a bad situation or something that a person ("asshole"in that moment) did to you, by adding "que" before "poca madre".
So gizmodo.com (which is primarily a geeky technology based site) had an article up on it today about how to drink the whole day and not pass out.

I find this really funny because: a) do geeks know what alcohol is and b)they are actually giving tips about how to infringe at least two law violations in the US: DUI and Public Intoxication.

So now because someone else beat me to it. I will repost two of the most important tips the site offered for marathon drinking. That by the end of the day people will be able to look at you and say: "que Poca Madre vato!"


Pace Yourself
Drinking all day is an endurance event. You are literally slowly poisoning yourself all day and seeing how long you can take it. It's a marathon, not a sprint. Listening to your body is the number one most important thing. If it tells you, "I've had enough," well, you had a good run, but you need to stop, because you could do some serious damage. However, your body may send the message, "Just gimme another 15 minutes. I'm still working on that last one," in which case, game on. Respect those messages, though, and do your best to listen for them.


Maximum Volume, Minimum Impact
ABV (alcohol by volume) is critical here. The lower the better. Continuing the metaphor from the last section, this is a marathon. Sipping beer (typically 6 percent ABV) is a slow, steady jog that will get you to the finish line. Taking a shot of whiskey (typically 40 percent ABV) is like doing a 100-yard dash as fast as you can in the middle of it. You're going to blow yourself out too quickly, and very well might not finish unless you slow way down immediately afterward.

And here is a tip from the Lion of Lebanon


Dont Buckle to Peer Pressure
Some Panocha's will find it highly amusing to vociferously encourage you to down drinks or consume high volumes of liquor in a short amount of time in order to get you Poca Madre. I have lost count on how often this has happened to me.

The one occasion I can remember well was Spring Day celebrations at my old university. Basically Spring Day is a day which was a varsity holiday where there would be no classes and there would be a huge campus party celebrating the onset of spring. Alcohol was a huge part of these celebrations. So in my first year I got myself a bottle of peach schnupps and mixed it in a bottle with Sprite (it was a whole bottle of schnupps to about 750 ml of Sprite). I was sipping it merrily when an arrogant Portuguese Puta said: PA...I bet you cant down that. (there was 3/4 of the mix left.) Normally i would have said: Your mother and just carried on sipping. But because I already had hooch in my system the Lion came out and I downed it in front of him and then hit him over the head with the bottle. That was at 10 am in the morning with the prospect of the whole day ahead of me Poca Madre! Apparently I spent the rest of the day thinking I was Eddie Guerrero screaming: "Orale Vato Loco's!"

CHINGALO!

Mei jua daima kuwa kabla yenu, na vivuli nyuma yako!