How much Heroin can you buy for R143 445 000?

Salamu

To prove that I am not all about writing about strikingly beautiful women from our nation’s capital, I shall unpack the ridiculously high wages that football players earn.

It’s actually sickening, when I heard that Carlos Tevez was earning close to R1-million a week and was still pissing his pants when Roberto Mancini was telling him to do something I almost retched in my mouth.

I’m sorry, no matter how bad or how full of shit your boss is, when you are on that type of money you say: yes sir yes sir three bags full.

And at R4-million a month (R48-million a year) he doesn’t even make the top 10. But we will focus on the top five.

In at number  five is Ronaldinho which surprises me actually seeing as though he doesn’t grabbed the headlines in a long time and I don’t think he has scored a notable goal in a very very long time. But he earns R 707 400 000 a year.

In at number four is Kaka who was once one the top players in the world but is now Mesut Ozil and Sami Khedira’s bitch at Real Madrid. But he earns R786 000 000 a year to warm the bench.

Number three is the current best player in the world Lionel Messi. He could be earning a lot more then R 864 600 000 but he probably has a shit agent or he doesn’t like being in front of the camera. 

Number two is Cristiano Ronaldo who is still too feminine for my liking. Never the less, the amount of women that throw themselves at him is a disgrace and the camera loves him so he is able to earn R1 257 600 000 (that’s a billion Rand a year people.)

And last but not least we have Mr David Beckham his seems to be competing with Raul Meireles over who can be the thinnest looking  footballer in the world with kak tattoos on their arms. I’m sorry it just makes them look like they spend their entire month’s salary on Heroin. 

But how much Heroin can you by for R143 445 000? Well...R143 445 000 is $18 839 686. The street value of Heroin is $63/oz. Therefore for R143 445 000 you can buy 294 370 oz of Heroin. You can drug the whole of Johannesburg and Cape Town for the rest of existence on that monthly spend. 

But while we are focusing on how much heroin we can by with over R140-million/m we can easily forget that his yearly earnings is R 1 721 340 000

Mei jua daima kuwa kabla yenu, na vivuli nyuma yako!

I can buy 294 370 oz of Heroin a month! Nice one gov!

Unearthing talent in the Nations Capital!

Salamu

During the Easter break I had the fortune of watching some schoolboy rugby at the Kearsney Easter Rugby Festival.

Pink is the new red in underwear!

And I came to the conclusion that the Pretooooooria Bokkies are the best looking girls in the world. My heart was racing while talking to a beautiful blonde with green eyes. I also came to the conclusion that they are very woes when it comes to "boeta se rugby" as in they were screaming louder then Ma en Pa vir Boeta or Liefie.

And just to prove I am not wrong I have unearthed yet another beautiful lady from the nations capital. But be warned men!!! Youll need  to be able to perform on call and have plenty of stamina with this one.
Mabibi na Mabwana .... Bi Monique Myburgh!

Question 1
So Monique. Because My blog fans are new to you. Please tell us a bit more about yourself, where you grew up, where you a demon child or an angel?

Im 23 years old and from Pretooooooria my whole life! Im down to earth, and take every second, minute, day as it come and try to make the best out of it. Lol, well i think it was a bit of both though, but don't regret one moment.

Question 2
Tell us something about yourself that we dont know. (remember this is going to be in the public space.)

Im a person that goes with the flow, like to social with my friends, and have a good time. Im a bit shy, but will work on that.

Adding elegance to a piece of crap engineering!

Question 3
Were you amazingly beautiful from young or did you blossom as you got older?

I think i went threw all the phases growing up.. lol.
Question 4

You realise there are a few randy teenage guys staring lustfully at your pictures right now. How do you feel about that?

*gives her shy smile and evil laugh* I think for every girl even men it is flattering when u been recognize by other people.

Question 5
Please describe your ideal holiday location and what would you do on this holiday?

I just love the tropical feeling of islands, havent been to many except Mauritius and that was fabulous, i would love to go to zanzibar, maldives, seychells, there are so many but would be just great to go to Bora Bora, i would just lay down in the sun, having a cocktail, do some scuba diving and just enjoying every moment with awsome people.

Question 6
Do you struggle to walk in shopping centres without turning a few heads?

We all just people at the end, and be honest i dont watch if people are watching me, so dont really know. lol

Question 7
Do you struggle to go out without a drunk guy trying their luck on you?

Boys will be boys... hahahahaha!

Question 8
How do you deal with drunk people hitting on you?

Well i just make it clear that im not interested,  sigh.... Alcohol does make a person a different person!

Quickies
Question 9
I remember a drunk night once when we almost got killed by Nigerians because a friend called them....never mind! Men: Hugh Jackman or Daniel Craig?

Daniel Craig

Question 10
One for Commander Bond...Cars: American Muscle or Italian Elegance?

Italian Elegance

Question 11
Woman: Who is sexier? Angelina Jolie or Scarlet Johanson?

They both are very sexy!! But if i must choose it will be Scarlet Johanson

Question 12
Blondes win it EVERY TIME! First Date: Ten Pin Bowling or Mini Golf?

I dont like either of them, but will go with Ten Pin Bowling

Question 13
Seems like size does matter...but moving swiftly on... Second Date: Dinner and Movies or Picnic in the park?

Picnic in the Park

Question 14
Dating: When is it acceptable to be a bit drunk in front of your man and does he get lucky that night?
Not every night, on occation out, but u still need to know were to draw the line.

Wow......I'd be happy getting lucky three times a week but Ill take every night! And Finally:

Question 15
What is the one secret about picking up girls that all men should know? And don’t give the stock standard “be confident answer” be creative please.

 dont try to brag to impress her. (its actually a turn off) Nothing beats a natural charm, and if it fails move on there is so much pretty ladies to choose from out there. Soos hulle in afrikaans se: "elke pot het n deksel."

Mei jua daima kuwa kabla yenu, na vivuli nyuma yako!

Putting Great Legs to good use!

My Dream Holiday

Salamu

One of the questions which i asked my favorite bokkie from Pretoria in an interview with her got me thinking about my ideal holiday location.

If money was not an option (ie: lottery money) Id first go to the USA and watch the my three favorite NFL teams (the Cincinati Bengals, the Denver Broncos and the Dallas Cowboys in action), I would definately be making a pruchase of a stetson cowboy hat and maybe try and convince a good southern belle that I am the catch of the century.

Id then go to Kingston Jamaica where I would visit the Bob Marley museum and his house at Nine Mile St Annes.

But the main destination would be Havanna Cuba. Id book myself into the Hotel Nacional de Cuba which is situated in the centre of the city and has easy access to many historical sites.

The La Casa Restaurante comes highly recomended and I havent had good stewed rabbit in a long time.

But the main reason for going to Havana would be to drink Mojito's at cantina's such as La Floridita, Dos Hermanos and La Bodeguita del Medio. This would also give me a chance to try my luck with the cubano lasses if I am not successful with convincing a texan girl to relocate to South Africa.

There is something about latino woman that fires me up. Perhaps its their gritty voices, maybe its the potential to have sweet nothings whispered into my ear in spanish, or maybe its the fact that they have all of the right curves in the right places.

On the cards would be a visit to my mate Fidel Castro's cocahina farm. A friend of mine that I used to work with in Dubai showed me pictures of him at the entrance to the farm proudly holding an AK47.

From there I would make a stopover at the Zambezi Sun where I can sip Mosi Lager while watching habeed try jump the border at the Mosi-oa-Tunya.

Mei jua daima kuwa kabla yenu, na vivuli nyuma yako!