Salamu
It has been a while since I have updated this blog. For that
I apologise. I suppose we go through our stages where we want the world to know
every intimate detail of what goes on in our lives, and then we actually get to
a stage where we actually couldn’t give an ass rats about what people think of
us, or how much they miss knowing about our lives. Like my ex always says: here
is a brick to help you build a bridge to get over it.
But as was pointed out to me lately…I am a bit of a
manipulator (which I completely and utterly deny) and I possibly have a bad
attitude when it comes to people (which I actually agree with if you are as
arrogant as shit). Be that as it may, I have resolved to update this blog at
least twice a month.
I haven’t done a ‘word of the day’ blog in a long time and
recent events have resolved me to do another one. The first word is actually
settling a debate and the other words are from my favourite source of ‘street
talk’—Urban Dictionary.
So to the first word, in between watching one of the world
class shows that Sony Max had on TV came a far eastern lady who’s decedents
were of the Karachi variety appearing on the TV teaching a catholic household
how to make Eid treats. So this lady is making a pot of Garlic Prawns and she
says: “I like to put a lot of garlic in my prawns because I am partial to
anything garlicky.” My friend looked like was going to have a heart seizure
screaming at the TV that garlicky is not a word. I said that it was…but my friend
has that arrogant lawyer way about him. So I just kept quiet.
But I was right.
Word: Garlicky
Definition: containing or resembling the taste or odour of
garlic.
Use: ey no man….I tried to dala that cherrie and her breath
smelt garlicky ek se…I waaid so quick cuzzie.
Now we get onto the proper words.
Urban dictionary is the best site known to man in my
opinion. It has introduced me to words such as Panocha, Barocho, Fine China,
and it even helped me correct someone. My best female friend was talking to me
and mentioned the word Twat. I laughed and told her to look on Urban Dictionary
what twat means. Needless to say, she was a bit embarrassed.
So now…here we go:
Word: phoneslinger
Defenition: A person that can produce their phone with
lightning speed and return a text message almost instantaneously.
Application:
Jim - I hate texting with Jennifer.
John - Why's that Jim? She seems like a cool girl to me.
Jim - When you send her a text, it takes forever to get a
response.
John - Ohh I hate that too! My new girl Sally has to be just
about the fastest little phoneslinger I've ever met in my life. Whenever you text her, you always have an
answer right away. Always. I so love that!
Jim - Wow! I'm jealous already.
Word: Piss Muting
Definition: When you piss on the side of the bowl of the
toilet instead of the water to make less noise at night.
Use: Mom - Johnny, if you're staying up late tonight be sure
to mute your piss so you don't wake me up.
Word: hate hug
Definition: A hug given as an unavoidable social grace even
though one or both people engaged in the hug hate each other and would not
willingly hug if they were alone. Characterized by being a very fast and
"going through the motions" hug with as little contact, duration, and
eye contact as possible.
Use: That girl Angela that hates me showed up unexpectedly
when I was out with co-workers having a drink. When we were all leaving she
hugged people goodbye but gave me a hate hug.
If I cared enough I would use it on my exes. Difference is
that the relationships between my exes and myself are very hostile to the
extent that we hardly talk. But I still have to see one at church. And its
funny how nervous you get around them no matter what the status is between the
two of you, and this is the one who I don’t talk to. AT ALL!
Mei jua daima kuwa kabla yenu, na vivuli nyuma yako!
