Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Return of the Mack. Word of the Day

Salamu

It has been a while since I have updated this blog. For that I apologise. I suppose we go through our stages where we want the world to know every intimate detail of what goes on in our lives, and then we actually get to a stage where we actually couldn’t give an ass rats about what people think of us, or how much they miss knowing about our lives. Like my ex always says: here is a brick to help you build a bridge to get over it.
But as was pointed out to me lately…I am a bit of a manipulator (which I completely and utterly deny) and I possibly have a bad attitude when it comes to people (which I actually agree with if you are as arrogant as shit). Be that as it may, I have resolved to update this blog at least twice a month.

I haven’t done a ‘word of the day’ blog in a long time and recent events have resolved me to do another one. The first word is actually settling a debate and the other words are from my favourite source of ‘street talk’—Urban Dictionary.

So to the first word, in between watching one of the world class shows that Sony Max had on TV came a far eastern lady who’s decedents were of the Karachi variety appearing on the TV teaching a catholic household how to make Eid treats. So this lady is making a pot of Garlic Prawns and she says: “I like to put a lot of garlic in my prawns because I am partial to anything garlicky.” My friend looked like was going to have a heart seizure screaming at the TV that garlicky is not a word. I said that it was…but my friend has that arrogant lawyer way about him. So I just kept quiet.

But I was right.

Word: Garlicky

Definition: containing or resembling the taste or odour of garlic.

Use: ey no man….I tried to dala that cherrie and her breath smelt garlicky ek se…I waaid so quick cuzzie.

Now we get onto the proper words.

Urban dictionary is the best site known to man in my opinion. It has introduced me to words such as Panocha, Barocho, Fine China, and it even helped me correct someone. My best female friend was talking to me and mentioned the word Twat. I laughed and told her to look on Urban Dictionary what twat means. Needless to say, she was a bit embarrassed.

So now…here we go:

Word: phoneslinger

Defenition: A person that can produce their phone with lightning speed and return a text message almost instantaneously.

Application:
Jim - I hate texting with Jennifer.
John - Why's that Jim? She seems like a cool girl to me.
Jim - When you send her a text, it takes forever to get a response.
John - Ohh I hate that too! My new girl Sally has to be just about the fastest little phoneslinger I've ever met in my life.  Whenever you text her, you always have an answer right away. Always. I so love that!
Jim - Wow! I'm jealous already.

Word: Piss Muting
Definition: When you piss on the side of the bowl of the toilet instead of the water to make less noise at night.

Use: Mom - Johnny, if you're staying up late tonight be sure to mute your piss so you don't wake me up.

Word: hate hug

Definition: A hug given as an unavoidable social grace even though one or both people engaged in the hug hate each other and would not willingly hug if they were alone. Characterized by being a very fast and "going through the motions" hug with as little contact, duration, and eye contact as possible.

Use: That girl Angela that hates me showed up unexpectedly when I was out with co-workers having a drink. When we were all leaving she hugged people goodbye but gave me a hate hug.

If I cared enough I would use it on my exes. Difference is that the relationships between my exes and myself are very hostile to the extent that we hardly talk. But I still have to see one at church. And its funny how nervous you get around them no matter what the status is between the two of you, and this is the one who I don’t talk to. AT ALL!      
   

Mei jua daima kuwa kabla yenu, na vivuli nyuma yako!


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