Salamu
I haven’t done one of these posts in a long time, so I
thought I would revive one after listening to one of my favourite musical
artists…Lilly Allen.
I came across Ms Allen when living in Dubai. As stated on
this blog before, I worked with a bunch of posh London boys and had a bunch of
Geordie, Scouse and Sheffield Steel friends. The fact that Ms Allen really
sings about rubbish and doesn’t care what she says is very appealing, as are
her looks.
All of my definitions come from the bastion of slang…Urban
Dictionary.com
 |
| Word Pig! |
Word: Filth
Meaning: a
derogatory word for a police officer.
Application:
Riding through the city on my bike all day ‘cause the filth took away my
licence.
If you come to think of it, the cops have it bad. I think
they must be the only group of people in the world that has so many derogatory
terms associated with them.
Word: Pig
Meaning: a
derogatory word for a police officer.
Application: Want
another donut pig?
There have been a number of other applications of
insinuations of the word pig in various movies. Two that come to mind
immediately are Training Day and Beverly Hills Cop. In Training Day, Denzel
Washington and Ethan Hawke corner my main may Snoop Dogg (or is it Snoop Lion
now?) he famously says “it smells like bacon in this mothaf##ker!” In Beverly
Hills Cop, Eddie Murphy is undercover and is trying to set up a major deal that
will entrap a drug cartel. When one of the cartel’s members comes to him, he
smells around him and says “it smells like pork, I used to be a Muslim, I know
what pork smells like!”
Here is a word which Ms Allen uses in her song where you
think you know the meaning of it, but it has other nuances besides the obvious
one.
Word: crackhore
Meaning: a whore
that chases cracks no matter what shape or form it may be in.
Application: look
at that crackhore he would take anything home.
Here is another word which I never knew what the hell it
meant, but now I know. Ok, it may not be the correct definition of it. But it
is a definition I will accept.
Word: SWAG
Meaning: The most
used word in the whole fucking universe. Douche bags use it, your kids use it,
your mail man uses it, and your fucking dog uses it. If you got swag, you
generally wear those shitty hats side way, and your ass hanging out like a
fucking goof cause your pants are half way down your white ass legs. To break
down the word, it means (Secretly We Are Gay). It is also a word that means to
represent yourself/ the way you represent yourself, baggy clothes, shitty hats,
small penis and basically a way to say you’re afraid to come out of the closet.
Application:
Assface Magee: I got so much swag
Darrel: You got so much dick in your ass
Assface Magee: Fuck you, SWAG
The closeness of guys and girls have come under the
spotlight recently. And I blame Hollywood for this labelling a good friendship a
“bromance.” What would be the female version of this? A hoemance?
We digress. We all know that our girls have best friends
that they simply cannot live without. These are her besties….and get between
them at your own peril.
Word: Besticle
Meaning: Term
referring to 2 men that are best friends. The masculine counterpart to the
female bestie.
Application: My
besticle Mike and I are heading to the golf course then will grab some beers
afterward.
This is the gayest thing I have ever heard in my life and I
will not be using it soon.
I hope that this has been enlightening and entertaining. More
so than the opening ceremony of the 2014 FIFA World Cup. Just goes to show that
sometimes you just can’t beat the Africans.
Mei jua daima kuwa kabla yenu, na vivuli nyuma yako!
