Marhaba.
Today, as i was sitting in a conference which was so boring that it literally aged me ten years, I came up with at least 20 better things that i could be doing with my life at that particular juncture.
Guaranteed, the job that you are doing now is a very far cry from your dream job as a child. You know, when you are in the second grade and your teacher asks you what you want to be.
The most popular answer to this one is I want to be a teacher, or a policeman or a fireman.
I will take you through the life story of my dream jobs from the second grade all the way to where I am now because i also often ask myself: How in the name of F##K did you pick.
In primary school (Grade 1 to Standard 5) [or Grade 7 for the difficult Americans among us]: During this time I desperately wanted to be a game ranger [or a park warden for the difficult Americans among us]. I have always had a love for animals and nature and people find it completely weird that a dog who will bite the ass off any person who resembles a stranger will come up to me very calmly and look for attention. Even if i have met this dog for the first time. But being a game ranger is a far cry from interacting with dogs, because in the African wild you are likely to interact with Elephants, Lions, Leopards, Rhino's and Buffalo's [otherwise known as the Big 5]. This to me seemed idealistic and the fact that you would live on the Savannah away from people and traffic and idiot taxi drivers, and bastard BMW drivers really appealed to me. So in my formative years, all I wanted to be was a game ranger.
In high school (Standard 6 - Matric) [or Grade 8 - Grade 12 for the difficult Americans among us]: I still carried this dream with me all the way to high school until a little thing named rugby came along which would play a huge role in my life. During high school I lived and breathed rugby. I wrote about rugby, watched rugby, played rugby, slept rugby. Damn the only thing I never did to rugby was eat it. At the time there was a rugby commentator, who turned out to be quite a legend, who was very famous for his mistakes while broadcasting. I knew from an early age that I knew more about the game then these idiots who were given creative license to broadcast crap on TV and so, I wanted to be a journalist.
In University (First Year until I finally graduated) [I don't even know what the difficult Americans call this]: I still carried my dreams of being a journalist. But because I came from a fairly conservative home and a private catholic school I was not the biggest drinker during my mid teens. Wow did this change in University, alcohol and woman were the order of the day so during University I still wanted to be a sports journalist, but at the same time I wanted to be the liquored up version of Hugh Hefner!
BUT.... There was a little matter of a television show named CSI which piqued my interest into being a forensic investigator. Don't get me wrong, I have never, ever wanted to be a pig (which is different from a forensic investigator). Although I deem this a very noble profession, this reluctance stems from the total disrespect that the public in general has for pigs!
I include an excerpt from Beverly Hills Cop II:
Axel Foley – Hey man where you been I have been waiting here 30 minutes for you
Man 1 – Sorry Axel I had to pick up my cousin
Axel (referring to the cousin) – Why you got to bring the cops up in here?
Man 1 (looking at his cousin) – He aint no cop
Axel (talking to the cousin) – Hey man take off your glasses
Cousin takes off his sunglasses
Axel – I thought it was you man! You a f##king cop!
Man 1 – He aint no cop Axel!
Axel (to man 1) – That's Dirty Harry himself man! This man is a pig, I used to be a Muslim and I know the smell of pork when its around (sniffs air) yes that's pork he is definitely a pig!
And of course we end off the post with my favorite pig basher! Ali G
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