Conversations at the gym

I love going to the gym, not only because I like to take care of myself and build muscle, but also because you get some extremely funny characters in the gym.

Especially in the south of Johannesburg. A normal topic of conversation is football, although I was not the best football player in the world, and it is not my number one supported sport, I do follow the game and favor the red half of Manchester.The majority of the enthusiasts at the gym like me favor the Red Devils, however there are the occasional Liverpool supporters, and because they are outnumbered, they are very vocal.

And I don't know if it is just me, but the Liverpool supporters are the biggest bunch of sour bastards in the world. Ok fine, this season they have a right to be because Manchester United have finally become the most successful team in England after passing Liverpool's record of 19 league titles. But in general they are just sour. Instead of congratulating another team on a fantastic win, they will bitch and moan.

I provide an excerpt of a conversation between me and a certain Mr H over a few tricep pull downs at the gym last night. Mr H is a huge Liverpool fan.

Me: Evening Mr H, did you watch any of the football this weekend?
Mr H: F##king Blackburn Rovers should be f##king banned from the league for life. Saturday's result was a f##king disgrace.
Me: Easy Mr H!
Mr H: F##k easy, your team just overtook my team as the most successful team in England all because Rovers took a cheaque to f##king fall apart in the second half for the point.

At this point Mr Wolf comes into the conversation who is quite possibly the biggest United fan at the gym. I am purposely leaving out names in this post because I don't want the whole gym after me like the Yanks went after Bin Laden.

Mr Wolf: F##KING HELL H, you are just sore because your team hasn't won anything since Istanbul 2005. Come the end of the month we will be not only champions of England but champions of Europe too!
Mr H: Are you sure about that Wolf?
Me: So sure that he has put the house on the result.
Mr H: So come Sunday the 29th Ill be pulling into the gym parking lot seeing Wolf sleeping in his car! Shame!
Wolf: Perhaps some rich bitch will find me, take pity on me, and offer to take me into her mansion on the hill here!

As we are about to move onto our next exercises, one of the biggest bullshitters in the South moves into the machine next to us and proclaims.

"Geez you people can talk shit! But I dont come here to train I come for the bints. Look at that Thai girl over there. If my wife had assets like hers I wouldn't be going out at nights!"

The south is the best place in the world to gym!