Hitting Fifa 12 on the PlayStation last night reminded me why I love football.
You all must think I am crazy and will be tempted to ask me if I realize that there are Billions of people in the world who share my passion. Yes i am aware of this, But I can count the number of South Africans who were brought up in Afrikaans homes and love football on one hand. It is a unique thing.
We digress. I just got the game and am playing practice matches before I take on a league season. My teams of choice were my two favorite English teams. The Red Devils and Chelsea.
Watching Wayne Rooney and Didier Drogba are one of the very few joys in life that one needs to experience at least once. Some people can stare at a Picasso or a Salvador Dali and think that they are masters of their time. For me its watching Rooney and Drogba when they are really in the mood to play football.
This got me thinking who is better between Rooney and Drogba? They are both amazing and if they were to play in the same team, would make an awesome strike force!
But who is better? Its like the Maradona and Pele debate, except that its involving players who play in the same era.
I once found myself in the middle of one such debate in Dubai. I nearly got killed that night.
It was time for our weekly night-on-the-tiles. There were five members of the Geordie Element (my group of Geordie mates) and I who used to frequent Double Decker. This time four of the Geordie Element phoned to cancel because they had a night of debauchery involving bedroom athletics with their new girls planned. They begged me to still go and to look after Porgie.
Now Porgie was a different breed mind. His real name was Georgie McKillan, but we called him Porgie for obvious reasons (think nursery rhymes). Porgie also had a newish girlfriend, but he would never pass a night on the tiles for a bird. "Fook her mate! We getten involved tonight! Find you a good Geordie bird!" would always be his reply.
So I picked up Porgie and had to listen to him curse the rest of the Geordie Element all the way to the Decker. We walked in and met up with some mates from London who just loved to wind Porgie up. I was a bit concerned because in the past we had the rest of the Element with us to back Porgie up and calm things down. That night it was just the two of us against them.
And the London lads knew which buttons to press. The debate that night was who was better between two of Newcastle's best footballers: Paul Gascoigne and Alan Shearer.
Now Alan Shearer was Porgies hero, the only thing he couldn't do in Porgies eyes was walk on water. So the lads pressed him and pressed him and pressed him, until eventually Porgie banged his pint glass on the bar counter so hard that the glass cracked. He got up, looked the London lads in the eye and said: "Do you fooking know what Alan Shearer's left ball sack said to Gazza?" Obviously the London lads didn't know so they asked him: "What did it say?" To which Porgie replied: "It started singing MC Hammers 'Cant Touch This' and if any of you posh twats have anything else to say on the matter Ill smash this here glass on yer posh twat heads!"
Fortunately the London lads locked onto some Essex girls, because Porgies fit sister walked into the bar and she was always well up for a scrap. The three of us would have caused carnage, because of the Lebanese blood that runs in my veins...I am always up for a scrap myself when I am on the Karate Juice.
I always remember that night when Newcastle plays football or when I am watching my DVD set on the best footballers of all time.
I am not the biggest fan of Brazillian football. but you will have to go a long way to top the likes of Garrincha and Zico.
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| What you got to say ye Fooking Posh Twats! |
Haha amazeballs
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