Friday, November 16, 2012

Finding fascination in a place close to home


Salamu

My Niggas!

Humans are fascinating creatures. You can spend your whole life studying them, yet you will never know everything about them.

But it is not the exterior form which holds the fascination for me. It is the emotional make up of the person. How the person is wired or coded as it were.

It always fascinates me how ruled we are by emotions, whether we care to admit it or not. I see myself as a big guy who doesn’t give to much away emotion wise. But let me listen to opera music and I will be a raging torrent of emotion.

When I was younger, I lived with my mom, grandmother and grandfather and for my whole life I saw and loved my grandfather as my own father. He loved classical music. I always remember him sitting in the study on a Sunday listening to records of Luciano Paverotti or actual operas like Rigoletto or Aida. While the rest of the family used to head for the hills I used to sit and listen with him enjoying every moment of just being with him, in his presence.

I never understood the words to what they were singing and I still don’t. But it is the emotional attachment that you associate with it that creates magical moments. His death hit me really hard not only because I loved him so deeply, but because I never got a chance to say good bye to him. He died nearly eight years ago now and whenever I hear classical music, memories of him hit me like a sledgehammer and I get to on the verge of tears.

This was one of his favorites. And is definitely one of mine. Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman at their best.


When my grandfather was near death I attended a spiritual course called ‘Life in the Spirit’ which was a very special experience for me and one day I will tell you all about it. During that time there were a lot of hymns associated with the course which we obviously sang. One was Refiners Fire. And it made such an impact on me then that when we sing it during mass now again, I get this sense of calm and peace. The emotional attachment I have with the song causes me to get so emotional every time I hear it or sing it.

It is the same with the beautiful woman I am falling for in a big way. The other day she decided to ask me a set of questions based on earlier discussions we had. I got all of them right bar one and she was suitably impressed….and actually so was I. Without realizing it I had developed such deep feelings for this amazing person that I took mental note of the special things about her and recalled them without trouble. This, my friends has never happened before.

It also amazes me how every time a get a message from said special person my life just seems to light up. The clouds just go away. Emotional bliss.

However, having your life run by emotions can also be a bad thing. On a number of occasions I have made quite poor decisions in the heat of an emotional moment. I have gotten better and these instances are becoming few and far between. I suppose that comes with age and knowing that in certain instances you need to take a step back, gather your thoughts and calm your emotions.  

It was the great Greek philosopher Plato who said that the only thing that separates humans from animals is our ability to reason. But it’s more than that. It’s our ability to let our emotional control us, guide us and ultimately dictate a large portion of the decisions we make on a daily basis where we care to admit it or not.
  
Till next time my Niggas!

Mei jua daima kuwa kabla yenu, na vivuli nyuma yako!

No comments:

Post a Comment