Swine Flu and Cops

Good Morning.

So the big thing at the moment is the Swine Flu virus. Although it is a virus that is likely to kill a lot of people, society has tried to see the lighter side of the virus.

It really didn’t take long for jokes to come out about the Swine Flu and the PO PO, the best one I heard was this heavy Dutchman from the East Rand go on Highveld Stereo and ask: “If this Pig Flu virus are so bat, then does that mean that all the Cops arrest dieing?”

Imagine a world without cops? Granted society would be plunged into total anarchy because the basic security system has been broken down, but how good is the basic security system in South Africa really?

	N.W.A. - Fuck Tha Police
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

My fascination with the cops came after watching a programme on soccer hooliganism. Basically the scene was a bunch of drunk Scots causing havoc in London Chanting: LETS GO FING MENTAL! LETS GO FING MENTAL. A cop then tries to calm them down when the Scots chant: WE AINT GOING NOWHERE! WE AINT GOING NOWHERE.

Everyone has had at least one run in with the law at some stage of his or her life. Here are some of mine:

October 2002
Setting: M&A in the Glen shopping centre.
Me and a mate (I wont mention any names to protect innocent parties) were getting a bit molar at M&A when my mate announces that we should go and visit Teazers. So the three of us go in 2 separate cars. Approaching Teazers in Rivonia can be a bit of a task as the circle is a bit big and very daunting when you have a nervous drunk like my friend behind the wheel. We took a turn at the Sheiks Palace and wanted to do a quick detour down a one way road. The distance was 20 metres, It was 12 at night and the likelihood of anyone being on that road at that time was slim. So we turn up the road and stare down the face of a cop car! He flipps on the siren and tells us to pull off the road. So we pull off and a cop come to the drivers window and tell us how dangerous is was what we did. No his suspicion is up and he asks us where we were going. To Zurised to say we were going to Teazers we lied and told him we looking for a friend who is lost. He asked us where and we told him We don’t know.

Anyway 30 minutes later he says to us that we are lying to him and he will have to take us to the station. So we said we going to Teazers. The bastard cop bursts out laughing and tells us: “Boys, its not a sin to go to Teazers.” He told us how to get there and we got off scot-free.

August 2005
Setting: Gas Station in Al Barsha Dubai During Ramadaan.

After a night out on the piss at a mates house I stop off at a garage and buy a Subway sandwich. On my way to work I decide that I want to eat it cause I am hungry! HUGE MISTAKE! A cop car stops next to me, rolls down his window and goes off at me in Arabic. At the time, hungover and 3 months in Dubai, my Arabic was limited to: MUFI ARABIA (no Arabic – meaning I don’t understand you sir). He tells me in his broken English that I must come with him to the station. I really didn’t want to until he pulled out the cuffs. So I followed him there and he took me to the station commander. The station commander hears the cops complaint and looks at me and says: Do you know its Ramadaan? I say yes but I’m not Muslim. He asked if I work in Dubai and How long I have been there. I told him 3 months and he was very understanding and told me that although I am not Muslim eating in public during Ramadaan is illegal, even for non Muslims. He gave me a warning and apologised for any inconvenience that I was caused.

October 2005
Setting: SAFA Park Um Al Quain Dubai.

A few mates and me were having a BBQ in Safa park and drinking a bit. I wasn’t drinking as I was driving. But I had to take a pissed friend home. Driving with a drunk passenger is illegal in Dubai, unless you a taxi, so I told her to behave. As we approach cop cars at the entrance of Saffa park, she rolls down the window and screams at the top of her voice: ‘You cant take me back to jail, Im not going back” Before the cops saw who it was I pulled into a side street, dragged her into the backseat and got the hell out of there.

Ok Fine! Im a hooligan when I drink!

Everyone has a go at the cops. Particularly because they can be a bunch of miserable bastards! That prime example of British society: A one Mr Ali G has a go at the cops often!


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