Normality has returned to the force!

Looks like a measure of normality has returned after a month of complete unpredictability.

I managed to stay sober and out of trouble this weekend. Normality 1. No one got F'D up at San Vineros this weekend. Normality 2. And the rugby results went as expected this weekend. Normality 3.

All the top teams in the Super 14 won this week and it is making it a interesting last 2 weeks of the regular season.

The Crusaders host the struggling Reds who could be without playmaker Barrick Barnes who tweaked a groin muscle while kicking before the Brumbies game. The Reds are travelling and they don’t travel well. Crusaders should win and move up to a tentative 3rd spot on 37 points.

There is a nothing game in the Friday evening fixture between the Lions and the Highlanders. Hopefully the Lions can win to prove they are not as KAK as everyone thinks they are.

The biggest game of the tournament is the first game up on Saturday. My New Zealand team, the Chiefs, are back in the land of the long white cloud and are at home in Hamilton to try curtail a late charge by the Hurricanes.

Should the Canes win they stay top of the log on 43 points or 44 points. Much will depend on the Chiefs defence as the teams are equally potent in attack.

The difference will be at fly half where its my man Steven Donald up against Piri Weepu. With Dan Carter out until October, much of All Blacks coach Graham ‘miserable bastard’ Henry’s focus will be on this game to find the incumbent first five eighth.

Should the Chiefs win they stay second with 41 or 42 points. Im hoping for a Canes win. Ill explain why later.

The Brumbies play the Blues and have to hope that the two form South African teams loose in order for either of them to make the semi’s. The Blues should curb the Brumbies winning streak.

The Sharks host the Waratah’s and if they win then they will go to 40 or 41 points, which will move them into 2nd (should the chiefs loose and get no points and stay on 37.) They will be without Rory Kockott who dribed an oak on the field on the weekend. However, Ruan Pienaar is back.

The Bulls have an easy win game against the Cheetahs in Pretoria. The Bulls will win, and move to 41 or 42 points. And Second spot (provided the chiefs loose)

The last game is another nothing game. The Stormers host the Force, none of whom have a chance of making the playoffs.

Im hoping for a Canes win so that the SA boys can make headway into the Semi finals. 1 plays four and 2 plays three. If the Canes finish top and the chiefs fourth, it will be a Kiwi semi final number 1 with a Bulls vs Sharks Semi final 2 in PTA.

If all the top four win then they stay the same. But then both the Bulls and the Sharks have to travel for their Semi finals.

Go the Canes.

The IPL is amazing, fantastic. The cricket is great, the atmosphere is electric. But the access to and from the stadium is kak and the dancing girls are pathetic!

Recent developments in my personal life means I cant look at other woman like I used to, and Im loving it. But really, when the dancing girls get up on stage to bust some moves and they look as fat as a Bar Code stripe I have a problem. Feed the cows. It doesn’t cost much, a happy meal at Mc Donalds is 15 rand! And don’t even get me started on how heavy they dance. Out of Coordination like you cant believe!

Right. So the rocket scientists in South Africa decided to close off one double lane in Corlett Drive to allow access to the stadium. At the end of the game you have 30 000 people trying to squeeze through a space that fits 2 cars side by side. Then you get the bastard Bollywood VIP wankers trying to drive their cars out at the same time as the crowd leaves. WTF!!!!!!!! They then in essence make the lane even smaller. Their motocade took 45 minutes to travel 10 meters and good for them!

Their head of security detail was walking next to the car that had Shah Rukh Khan in the car. He looked at me and said that he didn’t expect this. I said: You not a local right. He told me he is from Manchester.

The best time to get the VIP’s out with no effort is either 20 minutes before the end of the game or 40 minutes after the end of the game.

A one Mr Francois Pienaar was stuck in the traffic and he had every random piss cat in the world walking to his window and asking for a photo and Pienaar smiled for every one of them. That’s how a celeb should be.