It’s hard to make decisions staring down the barrel of a smoking gun Part II

The sporting world is the best escape imaginable. After watching a few sporting events this week, it perplexes me that there are even people in the world who have no interest in sports.

I reported last week that the British and Irish Lions are on tour and they will have a tough time making decisions as they staring down the proverbial barrel of a smoking gun.

But what of those teams who go into a tournament/match as favorites and everything goes wrong? In this instance its even harder to make said decisions.

It all started last week Wednesday when a certain Manchester United traveled to the eternal city of Rome to take on Barcelona in the Champions League final. Although many acknowledged that it would not be one-way traffic. It was widely believed that the Red Devils where the favorites going into the match.

Turns out that the scaly Brits from Manchester never even pitched for the match. Don’t get me wrong, there were on the field, but they were completely dominated to the extent that even the staunch Man U supporters, you know the Porras who support the club because of Ronaldo who they regard as a fake Porra because he comes from Madeira, acknowledged that Man U were never in the game.

All indications point towards geriatric Alex Ferguson’s poor selection of the side going into the game. Many believe that Man U would have faired better with Dimatar Berbatov or Carlos Tevez upfront instead of plating an extra man in midfield. But Ferguson stuck by his guns going into the match, and is a firm believer of players getting themselves out of trouble on the field.

Some will argue that it is tantamount to suicide to play that way in the final. But it’s hard to make decisions staring down the barrel of a smoking gun.

The second final this week was the Super 14 final which saw my boys from New Zealand The Chiefs take on the most hated rugby team in South Africa The Bulls.

With it being the final, many thought that it would be a tight affair. And when the Chiefs scored first it looked like it was headed in that direction, but then the Bulls hit back with 3 quick tries in the first half, which started an onslaught that really couldn’t be stopped.

Some argued that it the Chiefs contested better on the ground then they would have had a chance. Some also felt that Steven Donald put too much emphasis on the passing game where a kicking game would have served the team better. But as always, hindsight is a great thing, and in the heat of the moment it’s hard to make decisions staring down the barrel of a smoking gun.

Even Hitler was pissed off that the Chiefs lost. See below:




The final shock of the weekend is the early exit of Rafael Nadal from the French Open courtesy of lowly ranked Swede Robin Soderling. By all accounts Soderling came out to play and set a blistering early pace taking Nadal’s power game out of the picture.

Nadal could have fought back and won the match had he slowed the game down to a pace that suits him. However, that is all easier said then done and it’s hard to make such decisions staring down the barrel of a smoking gun.

In other news, the British lions came through their first South African outing unscathed, although they were behind for the majority of the match. Looking at the side that ran out. 8 of the players that Ian McGeechan picked for the team on the weekend maches my selection for the first test. So I'm almost there.

Normality has returned to the force!

Looks like a measure of normality has returned after a month of complete unpredictability.

I managed to stay sober and out of trouble this weekend. Normality 1. No one got F'D up at San Vineros this weekend. Normality 2. And the rugby results went as expected this weekend. Normality 3.

All the top teams in the Super 14 won this week and it is making it a interesting last 2 weeks of the regular season.

The Crusaders host the struggling Reds who could be without playmaker Barrick Barnes who tweaked a groin muscle while kicking before the Brumbies game. The Reds are travelling and they don’t travel well. Crusaders should win and move up to a tentative 3rd spot on 37 points.

There is a nothing game in the Friday evening fixture between the Lions and the Highlanders. Hopefully the Lions can win to prove they are not as KAK as everyone thinks they are.

The biggest game of the tournament is the first game up on Saturday. My New Zealand team, the Chiefs, are back in the land of the long white cloud and are at home in Hamilton to try curtail a late charge by the Hurricanes.

Should the Canes win they stay top of the log on 43 points or 44 points. Much will depend on the Chiefs defence as the teams are equally potent in attack.

The difference will be at fly half where its my man Steven Donald up against Piri Weepu. With Dan Carter out until October, much of All Blacks coach Graham ‘miserable bastard’ Henry’s focus will be on this game to find the incumbent first five eighth.

Should the Chiefs win they stay second with 41 or 42 points. Im hoping for a Canes win. Ill explain why later.

The Brumbies play the Blues and have to hope that the two form South African teams loose in order for either of them to make the semi’s. The Blues should curb the Brumbies winning streak.

The Sharks host the Waratah’s and if they win then they will go to 40 or 41 points, which will move them into 2nd (should the chiefs loose and get no points and stay on 37.) They will be without Rory Kockott who dribed an oak on the field on the weekend. However, Ruan Pienaar is back.

The Bulls have an easy win game against the Cheetahs in Pretoria. The Bulls will win, and move to 41 or 42 points. And Second spot (provided the chiefs loose)

The last game is another nothing game. The Stormers host the Force, none of whom have a chance of making the playoffs.

Im hoping for a Canes win so that the SA boys can make headway into the Semi finals. 1 plays four and 2 plays three. If the Canes finish top and the chiefs fourth, it will be a Kiwi semi final number 1 with a Bulls vs Sharks Semi final 2 in PTA.

If all the top four win then they stay the same. But then both the Bulls and the Sharks have to travel for their Semi finals.

Go the Canes.

The IPL is amazing, fantastic. The cricket is great, the atmosphere is electric. But the access to and from the stadium is kak and the dancing girls are pathetic!

Recent developments in my personal life means I cant look at other woman like I used to, and Im loving it. But really, when the dancing girls get up on stage to bust some moves and they look as fat as a Bar Code stripe I have a problem. Feed the cows. It doesn’t cost much, a happy meal at Mc Donalds is 15 rand! And don’t even get me started on how heavy they dance. Out of Coordination like you cant believe!

Right. So the rocket scientists in South Africa decided to close off one double lane in Corlett Drive to allow access to the stadium. At the end of the game you have 30 000 people trying to squeeze through a space that fits 2 cars side by side. Then you get the bastard Bollywood VIP wankers trying to drive their cars out at the same time as the crowd leaves. WTF!!!!!!!! They then in essence make the lane even smaller. Their motocade took 45 minutes to travel 10 meters and good for them!

Their head of security detail was walking next to the car that had Shah Rukh Khan in the car. He looked at me and said that he didn’t expect this. I said: You not a local right. He told me he is from Manchester.

The best time to get the VIP’s out with no effort is either 20 minutes before the end of the game or 40 minutes after the end of the game.

A one Mr Francois Pienaar was stuck in the traffic and he had every random piss cat in the world walking to his window and asking for a photo and Pienaar smiled for every one of them. That’s how a celeb should be.

Crunch Time

Howdie Howdie.

So it’s the easter period and a crucial time for the Super 14. I’ve let the ball slip a bit with the predictions, but I hope to be back on track next week.

What looked like a very mediocre weekend in the Super 14 is actually turning out to be one of the most crucial weekends of the tournament.

The two teams that have a bye have it at a time when they need to recuperate and find some inspiration. The Sharks have been playing Shit over the last two weeks and this is coming from a die-hard sharks fan.

We already have two results with the Stormers breaking their loosing streak and the Lions getting a hiding in Perth.

What can we look forward to tomorrow? Well the first Saturday game sees the Blues host the Reds. The Blues are currently on 28 points with 3 points in sight against the ailing Reds. A win in Auckland will see the Blues on 31 points, the same as the Chiefs and the Sharks. However, they will jump to the top of the log courtesy of their high number of bonus points. The Blues are on form and Rene Ranger will be hoping to threaten the whitewash in an attempt to claim yet another bonus point for the once upon a time champions. They have the mettle to do it, Blues by 10.

Then we see two teams that are keen for a semi final spot playing each other. The Hurricanes play host to a Brumbies team that will be playing every game form here out for the late Shaun MacKay. If the Hurricanes win they will then surpass the Blues at the top of the table with 32 points. If the Brumbies win they will move into 3rd, with the Bulls vs Chiefs game still to come.

I think the Hurricanes have a point to prove, being the highest rated New Zealand team to never win the tournament be it Super 10, 12 or 14. However, the Brumbies are off the piss and want to win the tournament. My head says the Hurricanes by 10 but don’t put the house on it.

The next two games, if played with a South African final in mind can help the Sharks and Bulls immensely in the tournament.

The Cheetahs host the Crusaders in Bloem with an upset on the cards. An epic battle between Juan Smith and Richie McCaw will be the highlight of the match.

If the Cheetahs win, they will have a reason to get drunk and listen to DE LA RAY DE LA RAY on repeat for the rest of the evening. However, that will mean that the Crusaders will not have a hope of making the Semi Finals.

The highflying Chiefs are in Pretoria to play the Bulls. Both are must wins for each team as the Bulls will finish the week at the top of the log should they win. Should the Chiefs win they will retain their position.

It’s the closest super rugby tournament to date. Only 5 points separate the top 8 teams! Chances are that the Semi Finals will be decided on bonus points. This will make the Sharks and Brumbies, each on three bonus points, and the Waratahs and Crusader, each on 4 bonus points, worry a bit.

Deciding the Super 14 semi finals on bonus points is like deciding the Barclay Card English Premiership on goal difference. It just isn’t fair!

There were calls in the past for a round of quarterfinals, which will see an equal playing field going into the finals. However, this will be quite a way off as Sanzar is focusing more on extending the number of teams in the tournament.

Rugby Focus

It’s a sad sad day for rugby.

A week after been run over by a security van outside a Durban night club, Brumbies player Shawn McCay passed away last night in a Durban hospital.

McCay contracted a blood infection, which brought on cardiac arrest, which proved fatal.

This doesn’t say much for medical standards in South African hospitals if a person can contract a fatal infection in ICU, which is supposed to be the safest place in the hospital.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the family and team mates of McCay.

In other news, Peter De Villiers has given SARU seven days to initiate disciplinary action against Cheeky Watson after the whole Baboon incident. At the time of the incident, Watson claimed that him and De Villiers were good friends, and one would think that good friends don’t go around seeking disciplinary action against others.

But then again whenever Cheeky is involved, there is trouble.

Same with his piss willie son Luke. Granted he is the form of his life, and is actually letting his rugby do the talking instead of his mouth. However, me thinks this wont be enough to warrant a selection in the team.

Last week De Villiers reported that the team dynamics of the Springboks will be key, after Watson’s statements last year that he wanted to arif on the springbok jersey pissed off a few senior players. These players will find it hard to get along with him should he be included now.

SARU has accommodated Watson to a degree by moving the Springbok to the left hand side of the jersey and incorporating the King Protea on the right, but this just means that Watson will arif on half of the jersey.

Because it is easter week and I am going away, I thought I'd do my predictions on a Monday this week.

First up, on Good Friday, the Blues host the Lions. The Blues are fresh off a rest week and are back at home in their beloved Eden Park where they beat the Waratahs two weeks ago. The Lions are fresh off tossing the game against the Chiefs where they had the perfect opportunity to do other teams in the competition a favor.

The Lions looked very good in stages, André Pretorius looked like he was to his old best, but then missed four UNFORGIVABLE kicks.

Form suggests that the Blues will win, and I agree. Blues by 10.

Next up is the Force against the Hurricanes. The Force are making a charge for the Semi Finals, however, the horse has bolted, and the Hurricanes are on form. Zac Guilford and Ma’a Nonu were in good form against the Sharks and should carry that form over to Perth. Canes by 10.

First up on Saturday is the Highlanders hosting the Reds. I don’t think the Reds can win and it will be interesting to see if Jimmy Cowen can establish himself as a front runner for the All Black scrum-half berth. Highlanders by 15.

The Brumbies are back at home and will want to play well in memory of McCay, they host Luke Watson because the rest of the Stormers team is playing so shit that they don’t deserve a mention. Luke, as good as he thinks he is the ERR, cant beat 15 men by himself, Brumbies by 20.

The Bulls travel to Sydney to face a Waratahs team that is once again on form, The Bulls need to win this game to have any hopes of a home semi final. And if they loose this game then there is a huge possibility that they wont even make the Semi Finals! I think the Bulls are on a loosing streak that will see them not qualify for the Semi Finals, Waratahs by 5.

The final game of the Easter Super Weekend is the Cheetahs hosting the Sharks. The Sharks are in the type of form that will see them win the tournament without loosing another game. Sharks by 15.

In the end there can be only one

Good Monday to the Lions Den Massive.

Its halfway through the Super 14 and it is turning out to be a good tournament.

I called four out of the six games correctly this week, so it looks like the tournament is finally gaining some measure of normality.

The shock result of the weekend was the Bulls vs the Highlanders. No one expected the Highlanders to win, and fewer expected the Highlanders to win by that much.

But what does this mean for the log, well the win gave the Sharks an opportunity to take the top spot after their good win over the Brumbies. The Waratahs moved up to second after edging the Blues out in Auckland.

But the biggest benefactor of the win was the Highlanders. Sitting in 12th position before the weekend, the win briefly propelled the team into the top of the top half of the log. They ended the super weekend in 6th position.

Halfway through the tournament I always like to take a look at the teams and ponder as to who will make the playoffs.

I think that the Sharks will be good enough to retain their top spot from this point on. They won their hard games overseas and are playing relatively easy teams from here out in Durban. It will be a ding dong battle between the ‘Tahs and the Bulls as to who will finish the regular part of the season in second spot. The ‘Tahs have lost two games and should win the rest of their games from here out.
There is a problem as there is only 4 points separating positions 3 to 8.

The Bulls have a game in hand on the ‘Tahs and provided they win the rest of their games, they wont travel to Oz for the semi final.

Here’s the problem, the Bulls have four games that they can potentially loose between now and the 16th of May.

This weekend they play the Crusaders in New Zealand, the following week they go to Sydney to play the ‘Tahs. They then have a relatively easy game in the Brumbies before they come home to host the Chiefs and the Force.

It could go down to the last weekend when they travel to Durban to play the Sharks.

I think at the end of the regular season, the Sharks and the ‘Tahs should take the top two spots. 1 Semi final in Durban, 1 Semi final in Sydney. 1 plays 4 and 2 plays 3, the Bulls should finish third so the one semi final will be between the ‘Tahs and the Bulls in Sydney.

Looking at the log realistically, I think the Chiefs will take the fourth spot as they have the easier games going into the playoffs. From this week their schedule is: Lions in New Zealand, Cheetahs in Bloem, the Bulls in Pretoria, the Stormers in Slaap Stad, the Hurricanes in Wellington, and the Brumbies in Canberra. Sharks vs Chiefs in Durban.

The Watson’s have done it again. This time Puke’s father allegedly called Peter de Villiers a Baboon at a meeting at the beginning of the year.

The slur allegedly came at a meeting of the Eastern Province Rugby Legends, f&*k I never knew they had any, where Cheeky Watson called De Villiers a Baboon who didn’t know how to do his job. Watson denies he ever said it, and an irate Press Officer from the EPRFU sent a bitchy press statement to the media stating that Watson never ever called De Villiers that and that the two are good friends.

Where there is smoke there is fire. I don’t believe the whole Baboon incident is true, but I don’t doubt that Watson could have said something like that as he fancies himself as a future top man in Rugby