I am Ragnar Lothbrok...and you will bow before me!

Salamu

SOME PEOPLE YOU KNOW THEY DON’T BELIEVE…..JAMAICA – WE HAVE A BOBSLED TEAM!

While this post is found under the series critique label and will mostly deal with the discovery of an awesome

new series, as well as an existing one that I don’t know why I hadn’t watched until now, I need to make mention of the fact that one of my favourite nationals is going to be attempting to fly their nations flag high at the upcoming Sochi Winter Olympics.

As you can gather by my intro, Jamaica has qualified yet again for the bobsled event at this year’s games. But unlike in 1988 where the Rasta Island competed in the four man event, this year the island nation qualified for the two man event.

What I find awesome about this story, besides the fact that they have qualified for the games, is that they crowd sourced all of the money that they needed to go to the games. If this does not highlight the potential of the internet as a reliable funding method which can seriously rival that of dabbling in the stock market, then I don’t know what my name is or my gender for that matter.

And now, onto the main purpose of my post. Since the last episodes of Homeland and Sons of Anarchy, I have been desperate for a new series to keep me intrigued until Dallas and Game Thrones starts again. So I was looking around and came across The Musketeers which is a British produced series loosely based on the works of that insanely talented (although quite eccentric) Frenchman, Alexandre Dumas. The first episode sees Cardinal Richelieu hatching a diabolical plot to discredit the Musketeers with King Louis XIII and to plunge France into civil war. This is done by framing one of the most prominent Musketeers, Athos. Athos, Pathos and Aramis must not only prove Athos’ innocence, but they have to fight off the vengeful thoughts of D'Artagnan who thought that Athos killed his father.

I have always had MAD LOVE for the Musketeers so perhaps I am a bit biased when I say that a series such as this is long overdue. The action is good, the women are beautiful and the plots are easy to follow. And the fact that D'Artagnan is having an affair with the woman Athos is going depro over sets the series up for an ironic twist. D'Artagnan wanted to kill Athos in the first episode over an imagined crime, later in the series Athos will no doubt want to kill D'Artagnan over a proven offense. Fascinating Stuff Indeed!

However if one had to be critical, there are some flaws. The fact that it is an all English cast is slightly off-putting when one considers that the majority of the story will be based in either France or Spain. So if you can look past a bunch of poms posing as Frenchmen, the biggest hurdle of the series is already overcome. While the plot is easy to follow, this could be a double edged sword. There are times when one wants to watch a show with a complicated plot, like CSI, and there are times when you want to just zone out with a series where you won’t have to think too much. But the hallmark of a good series is to make each episode end in a cliff hanger so that you would get a consistently good viewership every week. Perhaps I will be surprised, but I don’t see that from The Musketeers.

There are some critics who are overly critical though. Jim Shelley, who writes for the Daily Mail, heavily criticised the programme, saying: "The Musketeers didn't take itself too seriously but was still so bad it bordered on self-parody" and that "the quality of the sub-plots hardly merited its 9pm slot in the schedule rather than (like Merlin or Robin Hood) much earlier.

Please do me a favor you pompous twat. Please take your head out your ass and just appreciate the fact that the Brits have finally unearthed a series which is worthwhile watching. Just think…no more will I have to be subjected to bullshit about Monty Python or The Black Adder. And don’t get me started on what I think of that utter rubbish you call Doctor Who.

The second series that I have watched is Vikings and I could absolutely kick myself for not watching it sooner. The reason I didn’t was that I thought there were more than nine episodes in the season. But apparently, there was only nine. And the second season is coming up, so I had to watch it.

I am Ragnar Lothbrok...and you will bow before me!

OH MY LEATHERY SACK…WHAT A SERIES not only is it a historical series (which is right up my ally), but it is about a warrior race who were thought to be savage barbarians who never had a brain cell between them. However, Ragnar Lothbrok is proving to be a strong character who is very calculating. He does have his flaws, sleeping with beautiful women while being married to a lady most men would give their left ball sack to be with, but then so do all protagonists: Jax Teller, Tyrion Lannister, Carrie Mathison. What is a series without an imperfect protagonist?

What I am looking forward to in the new series is how Ragnar, who is aligned with King Horik, will respond to the rebellion of Earl Borg which now includes Rollo who is Ragnar’s brother. Perhaps now Ragnar will be kicking himself over the fact that he trusted his brother enough to not make him swear on his arm ring.

The only critique I have of the series is its paganism. Yes I understand that the Vikings were pagans, but I did struggle watching the episode which included the rituals at the temple of Uppsala. In fact, I didn’t finish watching that episode.

Some steamy Khaleesi action wont hurt

And then there is that disgusting Viking ritual of passing around a bowl of water. The warriors wash their hands, and then they take a sip of water to wash their mouths out…which they spit back into the bowl, they then blow their noses into the bowl before it is passed onto the next warrior who follows the same process. I first came across this in The 13^th Warrior, and the look on Antonio Banderas’ face was priceless and basically said what we all felt at that moment without saying one word.

Dallas will need to be interesting if they are looking to extend the series beyond this third season and Game of Thrones probably won’t have to do much to prove its utter awesomeness. However, a few steamy scenes with Khaleesi or one of my all-time favourites – Natalie Dormer – won’t hurt.

Mei jua daima kuwa kabla yenu, na vivuli nyuma yako!

Sons of Anarchy is the best series ever made

Warning: This post may contain spoilers of Sons of Anarchy Season 6. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

THANK YOU! AND GOD BLESS!

Salamu

It has come to my attention that I have come across the most epic television series of all time. And while it will never rival the legendary Dallas as one of the television programmes with the most episodes of all time, Sons of Anarchy is quite possibly one of the most realistic series of all time and its creator Kurt Sutter is a bladdy genius and deserves an Oscar, an Emmy, a Pulitzer Prize and a Nobel Prize for literature.

While I am fully aware that I may not have to correct qualifications to give an educated opinion on the series, I am fully aware of my constitutional (and human) right to voice my opinion. And besides, the people who critique movies and television shows for a living are full of shit anyway and don’t know how to give a proper opinion on things anyway.

After cottoning on to the series in 2011, I was not prepared for the most realistic roller coaster of human emotions that the series would put me on. From the humble beginnings of the turf war with the Mayans, to dealing with the Nords, to rampaging through Belfast to rescue the kidnapped Abel, to dealing with RICO, to dealing with the Clay situation, I have been glued to my screen and completely fascinated by the development of the various characters and the role that they play in the series.

But nothing…not one damn thing could have prepared me for Season 6.

We knew that this was going to be a make or break season for the series as something needed to come to a head in order to bring viewers back to the series. Gone are the days where we have endless seasons of a series. It seems that they have a life span of five seasons, and then you start losing viewers.

The end of Season Five set the scene perfectly for season six, Clay was incarcerated for the murder of Damon Pope (a murder that he was framed for by Jax and Tigg), and Tara was incarcerated for her part in the murder of a correctional services nurse by Otto Delaney. So clearly Clay had an axe to grind while Tara wanted to distance herself and her boys from Gemma and the Club.

This was the basis of Season Six. Tara’s arrest was a defining moment in her relationship with the club as it was the last straw which broke the camel’s back she had enough of the Club and its bullshit and she has gone into the mode that every mother goes into, she needs to make major sacrifices to save her boys. Some thinks that her whole outlook of wanting to divorce Jax was due to her falling out of love with him. But in fact, it was just the opposite. All through the series you can see she is still desperately in love with Jax, and she so wants to be there for him. But she questions his ability to be a good role model for their sons. We all know that Jax himself never wanted to turn out the way that he did, but his history with the club and his election to its Presidency turned him. Abel and Thomas share that same history with the club and Tara was scared that the same fate was in store for them. The apple never does fall far from the tree.

She also didn’t want to turn in the club because she had the outlook of: Fuck all you guys, you have burned me so now I am going to burn you. She wanted to turn in the club to get immunity from prison. If she did jail time for conspiracy to murder that nurse, custody of the kids would go to Jax who is still significantly controlled by Gemma, who Tara believes is Satan reborn.

Everything that Tara did during the season was for her kids. The sacrifices she made, the schemes she tried to execute, the distance she put between herself and Jax were all for her kids. She transformed herself from the cute tabby cat to the tiger that she ended up becoming because of the threat to her kids.

Let it just be stated for the record that she was still as hot as shit. She will be missed during Season 7.

Clay had to die. It was decided during Season Four, Season Five and now in Season Six. We all knew it was coming.

The person you really feel sorry for is Jax. The opening of the Season Six Finale encapsulates it all: I hate what I have become, there are times when I must go for weeks without looking in the mirror because I am scared that I will smash it and cut my face with the broken shards of my reflection.

This was the entry into his journal at the beginning of the finale. And every  move that he has made since returning from Belfast has been to push the club towards earning cash in a legitimate manner and to move away from the violence and killings that running drugs and guns has brought the club. However, the drugs and guns is too big an earner for the IRA and the other organisations like the Mayans, the Niners and the Chinese for the guns to stop. And because the Sons have the network to run the drugs and guns effectively, these organisations are putting Jax under pressure and are sabotaging his plans.

Jax is caught between a rock and a hard place, he wants to move away from guns but he can’t because of the events I just described above. Coupled with this he has Tara doing what she needs to do to survive and the cops so far up his ass after a school shooting in the first episode. There are times when you can see the pure frustration in Jax’s face that can only come from a person who does not know what else to do to make things right.

Now for the finale, and it is at this point that I want to point out and reiterate my spoiler disclaimer above.

Sutter has once again outdone himself and has set the scene perfectly for Season 7. Jax agrees to hand himself over to the authorities in order for Tara to look after the boys and raise them away from the violence and bullshit that club business has brought into their homes. Gemma turns out to be the devil that Tara thought she was by brutally killing her. Sherriff Rooseveld is about to turn in Gemma but gets shot by Juice. Jax arrives at the home to turn himself in and sees the two bodies in the kitchen. He breaks down and holds Tara’s body when the District Attorney walks in and sees Jax, the two bodies and Jax’s gun (which was not used in the murders) on the floor.

So, Season 7. It will be a fitting end to the series because of a few things:

-         - Who will raise Abel and Thomas, Jax will be going to jail for RICO and possibly double murder after the DA walks in on a crime scene that he supposedly was responsible for. Everything that Tara fought so hard for turned to shit and the boys will either be raised by Gemma or Wendy.

-         - Will Gemma be brought to justice for her murder of Tara?

-         - Will Nero turn out like Jax after agreeing to head up the Stockton chapter of the Mayans?

-          - Who will die?

It’s a pity that we will have to wait until September 2014 to find this out. But one thing is for sure. Sutter never disappoints, and we should strap ourselves in for an emotional roller coaster.

It is at this time I would like to wish all of my fans a Happy Festive Season. Thank you for your support throughout the year and I hope to have your continued support in 2014.

Mei jua daima kuwa kabla yenu, na vivuli nyuma yako!

Last Resort... becoming a disapointment

Salamu

My Niggas!

Before we get started on how disappointed I am with a certain new series let me just say that my theory about Dallas has been disproven. I was hoping to get 100 page views on an article other than that of an FHM top model and how many page views did I get????? 28! So not cool!

Military trained sailors bowing to a despot?
Not believable at all.

A few posts ago I was talking up my excitement about Last Resort which really had the potential to be an awesome series. The original premise of the series was a bit far fetched (blowing up Pakistan and US ships turning on each other) but so was Terra Nova and Alcatraz. Sometimes making a series is like poker...its not the hand that you are dealt but what you do with it that counts.  

Take the last episode of Last Resort. The local despot of Sainte Marina Julian Serrat has three of Cpt Marcus Chaplin's sailors captive and is demanding ransom for them. These three sailors are being guarded by 10 or 15 men. Chaplin has a whole submarine of MILITARY TRAINED sailors at his disposal to go and save the captives, but he opts to leave Serrat to fight another day instead of wiping his existence out completely. A hallmark of a lasting series is to make the events in the series as believable as possible. No sane man with a mini army at his disposal would have done what Chaplin did. 

Perhaps this is why Terra Nova and Alcatraz were cancelled after one season. Because they had the potential to be great and they didn't. Don't be to surprised if Last Resort follows suit. 

We know the popularity of comic book convectors. One just has to look at the ridiculous event known as Comic-Con to see that there are just SO MANY nerds out there who live and breathe off this stuff. Create magical worlds around it. Surely then it would make sense that if you want a successful series, base it on a comic book character.

Ladies and Gentlemen...Mabibi na Mabwana...I present to you....ARROW. 

For those who haven't seen the pilot, the story revolves around a billionaire playboy who's luxury yacht capsizes killing all on board but himself. He then spends five years surviving on an island in the pacific before he is found by some Chinese fishermen. He then goes back to his city and exacts vengeance on all of those who are corrupting the city. 

Sound familiar? Well that's because its the story behind the DC Superhero the Green Arrow . 

Considering how well Person of Interest does and how popular Law & Order and the CSI franchises are, Arrow could be the best new show that has been launched in the US...but time will tell. Watch this space. 

A show with so much potential needs to step up
to the plate. 

Coming back are the boys from Charming....Samrco. I have already stated my love for the series and I am sure it wont disappoint. Season 5 is already 5 episodes in and the dynamic between Jax and Clay will be interesting because Jax wants to lead the club (for obvious reasons revealed in seasons 3 and 4) but he still needs Clay in order to make the deal with the IRA work. 

Also back is Homeland. I was a fan of the first season mainly because I have Arab blood running through my veins and I think that the Arabs do not get a fair shake from the US. Be that as it may the series needs to have some radical changes to make it as good as season 1. A recipe for disaster when it comes to series is making the story line predictable.  The show still portrays all Arabs to be terrorists and only a few Americans to be bad. As we all know this isnt true so what would be interesting is if a person from within Hezbollah or Al Qaeda to give up Abu Nazir. 

Till next time my Niggas!

Mei jua daima kuwa kabla yenu, na vivuli nyuma yako!

Testing a theory

Salamu

My Niggas!

As you all will know, I am a very analytical person obsessed with knowing as much as I can about a certain subject. I also like to test certain theories as well as formulate my own theory and test its probability.

So then…this post is going to test a theory. I will explain the theory at the end of the post.

I have written in the past about how I have been taken down memory lane from time to time and I quite enjoyed it. But nothing has given me such a pleasurable trip down memory lane than the latest addition to my latest area of interest…the 2012 continuation of my favorite TV series of all time DALLAS.

Yes it is back and the question had to be asked. Is the 2012 continuation as good as the original series which aired from 1978 to 1991 which included an amazing 357 episodes.

Good Old JR. The most hated man in Texas

In the original series the story centered around Bobby Ewing and good old JR Ewing and their different views on business and how to conduct it. It is like that classical cartoon image of a person sitting down approaching a problem with an angel on his left shoulder giving him good advice and a devil on his right shoulder giving him somewhat questionable advice. Bobby was the angel while JR was the devil.

In the 2012 continuation series the story is centered around John-Ross Ewing III and Christopher Ewing (John Ross III being the son of JR and Christopher the adopted son of Bobby) and like their fathers the son have inherited the same personality traits.

What made the original series so compelling is how bad JR was. You wanted to tune in to see who he has pissed off or who wants to kill him, yet you know deep down inside that Dallas would not be Dallas without him. Another reason why the show was so good was because JR and Bobby were such polar opposites. In the continuation series, John Ross III is bad but not as bad as his daddy. And Christopher is good but not as good as his daddy.

Julie Gonzalo acting like a boss!

I like the 2012 continuation series, but it is unfair to compare it to the original which lasted 13 years. It is. So we have to go to the women to see if they clinch it for me.

In the original series we had Sue Ellen and a number of ladies who played the love interest of Bobby (who is currently on wife number 3 provided he survives the brain tumor that has in him in hospital in the 2012 series. I haven’t got to Episode 10 yet)

Not much can be said for the ladies from the original series from my side because I was a youngster and only concentrated on JR and Bobby. However, the woman in the continuation series are quite something.

The continuation series has Elena Ramos and Rebecca Barns/Ewing/Sutter. In a complete twist from the original series we see how Rebecca has become the snake in the grass that JR was in the past and this was a pleasant surprise. The battle with conscience that she has throughout the series is excellent and the fact that they put it down to her ‘brother’ Tommy up until Episode 10 when she reveals herself as the daughter of the Ewing’s biggest enemy Cliff Barnes is a STROKE OF GENIUS!

Bringing a bit more Latino to Texas. Again...like a boss!

And lets also just say that Jordana Brewster and Julie Gonzalo are much more pleasing on the male eye than Linda Grey and Victoria Principal ever were.

But does this clinch the deal? Do the ladies make the 2012 continuation of Dallas better than the original series? Again it’s a tough one and I am undecided.

So it comes to this my friends. Because I am such a fan of Dallas I am prepared to do this. 

I am in the process of sourcing all of the 14 original seasons as we speak. So…anon…I will have the 357 original episodes. Added to the 10 episodes from the 2012 continuation season I will have 367 episodes of Dallas. That’s an episode a day for a year. For my New Year’s Resolution I will embark on: My Year in Dallas where I will watch an episode a day for a year to settle this debate.

Charline Tilton. No doubt a big reason why
a lot of men watched Dallas

I will give updates during the year and we will touch base in 2014 (assuming we survive the Mayan Apocalypse) for the definitive answer.

Now time for the theory….

When the producers of Dallas got the original cast together for a reunion in 2008, Ken Kercheval said that he was surprised at how much staying power Dallas had when he saw the crowd gathered to participate in the reunion event. So let’s test his theory. We all know that Dallas was popular, and we all know my blog posts about FHM models are more popular than my other posts (thanks to all the dirty bastards out there) so can the fact that I am writing about Dallas mean that I can reach 100 page views on a post not related to an FHM model. Kercheval’s theory says that I will.

Footnote: Notable mention needs to be made to Jordana Brewster for achieving what no other cast member of Dallas could...making it big on the Big Screen (as Mia Toretto in the Fast and Furious franchise) and the small screen. Honorable mention must also go to Charline Tilton and how beautiful she was back in the day. No doubt she was a big reason a lot of men watched the programme. 

Till next time my Niggas!

Mei jua daima kuwa kabla yenu, na vivuli nyuma yako!

Series is the name of the game in 2012

Salamu

My Niggas!

It feels like I haven't updated my blog in years, meanwhile I updated on September 11 and 12. The major thing that has happened is that I have reached over 3 000 page views on the site. Asante to all of those involved and lets hope we have many more views before the year is out. 

My love for movies has been very well documented on this blog. One just has to look at one of the sidebars of the right of my blog to see a list of some of my all time favorites. There have been some really epic years for movies, unfortunately 2012 was not one of them. In fact, the best movie of the year thus far has been the Avengers and the Spiderman reboot. There was a lot of noise being made about the Dark Knight Rises, but like the Shakespearean Classic....it was a much ado about nothing. 

But it has been a year when I have rediscovered my love for series. Although True Blood is getting weirder and weirder, it is still awesome and I am still a die hard fan (unashamedly). I am looking forward to Season 6 which is coming out next year.

Actually 2013 is going to be a epic year for TV series (assuming we survive the Mayan Apocalypse), True Blood Season 6 is coming out at about the same time as the third season of another one of my favorite series....Game of Thrones. But the biggest one to look forward is the Sixth season of Sons of Anarchy.

Up until two months ago True Blood and Game of Thrones were my favorite series, but then I got hold of the Sons of Anarchy and I was hooked! 

Once again, the reasons for the series success is simple....

The Story Line and Club Issues are REAL: There are no vampires or werewolves involved. There are no wildlings. Its about running guns and drugs and gang rivalry. REAL LIFE SHIT. 

There is Amazing Character Development: Jackson Teller is the modern day Shakespearean hero. In the beginning he is utterly devoted to the club. Then he finds his dead fathers manuscript  and its like his father is talking to him from the grave. He goes on a crusade not to question the club, but to question the path that the club is going down. His son gets kidnapped and he wants to leave the thug life. But you don't choose the thug life, the thug life chooses you, when he finds out that Clay offed his old man there is fire and brimstone and the young bull flexes his muscle. Tara Knowles is the next Adrian Balboa, she is so in love with Jax that she puts up with the shit that goes on to stand behind her man. But there are times when she shows an uncertainty where she wants to leave because its whats best for the kids. Clay Morrow changes from this strong fatherly figure that holds SAMCRO together to this disease that eats away at the soul of the club. You end up secretly wishing that Opie's bullets do actually kill him rather than just injure him permanently. 

You can learn a lot about life by watching the Sons of Anarchy: Granted, the normal run-of-the-mill Average Joe cant merely run guns and coke like SAMCRO and not end up six feet under. But what the show does teach us is that one cannot spend ones life running, the secret to life is making the best out of heavy situations. 

I am halfway through season 4 and have been able to keep up to date with season 5. So I might have to neglect my heavy social life one weekend in favor of being a recluse to finish season 4 and three episodes of season 5. 

But there is also Person of Interest which is amazing and the first episode of a new series that I downloaded yesterday: Last Resort. 

Last Resort looks a bit like its a bit of a far fetched situation that the series is set in, but once again, its appealing to me because there are no vampires, werewolves and wildlings. It will be interesting to see how the series develops. Cant wait. 

Just a note on Last Resort. I say its a bit of a far fetched situation, but I am sure there are a few people in India who secretly go to bed at night hoping that someone blows up a certain neighbor who gives them border issues every now and then. 

Till next time my Niggas!

Mei jua daima kuwa kabla yenu, na vivuli nyuma yako!

Walking Spoiler.

Salamu

It occurred to me today that I haven't blogged in a while and there were events today which I deem worthy of blogging about. 

I am actually in essence quite an insensitive S.O.B to the extent that I am a walking spoiler alert. 

A family member of mine has arranged a baby shower for his wife and me with my great intellectuality had the good grace of saying to her: So are you looking forward to your baby shower. Little was I to know that the baby shower was supposed to be a surprise and I got the look of death from the family member. 

But in my defence. Do you mean to tell me that every expecting mother does not know that there is going to be a baby shower thrown for her? I fail to believe it. there are certain things which are certainties in life. If you are pregnant you WILL get fat and you WILL have a baby shower. And women know this. Besides, the family member in question has never had a good word to say about me and I have never been anything but the brunt of his jokes so does my face look like a caring face? NO SIR IT DON'T!

No apologies. DO NOT READ IF YOU DISLIKE SPOILERS. 

Then again today unintentionally I put my foot in it. A friend of mine who lives in the Land of the Long White Cloud (New Zealand) had a nice Facebook status update that she is stoked about the new season of True Blood starting and the fact that Tara is dead and she ain't going to be a part of it. I when't on to say hang on...and told her what actually happens to Tara (Because I have already got my hands on the first episode of season 5 and have watched it). Again I got daggers and people calling me names like tit and dickhead. 

Again in my defence.....FB is a spoiler alert waiting to happen. I actually felt bad about my spoiler and duly apologised therefore. But there are a lot of other people out there who wont give a shit about how you feel regarding spoilers and will just say shit anyway. 

I feel it comes down to the fact that you shouldn't broadcast that you are looking forward to something without saying: No Spoilers Please. You cant say....yes well you were supposed to know these things, bull shit! I cant read peoples minds......I cant predict that they don't want a spoiler. Its like not asking a question that you don't want to know the answer to. 

Its like Bafana Bafana being all excited before going into a World Cup Qualifier....you should say to them: Why you getting excited? You not going to win!

On to happier thoughts. I am personally glad that True Blood is back. It fills the void left by the other show which is trending in the lions den: Game of Thrones. I cant wait to see Anna Paquin and Debbie Ann Woll. YUM! 

Mei jua daima kuwa kabla yenu, na vivuli nyuma yako!

NOW WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD NOT WANT TO HIT THAT?