Dirty Europeans and Crackhead Politicans

Howzit.

I have to pose a question to my European audience. Once again please feel free to comment on this, in fact, you are encouraged to because the question I am about to ask is a hard one and might be seen as an attack on the European continent as a whole.

The question is: Why is Europe filled with dirty old bastard men who like pumping underage girls or partaking in role play sex activities with people other then their wives or mistresses?

I ask this after the resignation of IMF chief Dominic Strauss Khan after it surfaced that he assaulted a hotel maid in a sexually inappropriate manner. How he got his Zub up is another story because he lookes as old as the hills and probably needs a quarter Viagra just to use the toilet.

I purposely asked why Europe is FILLED with such men because there is more then one instance that I can point to.

We all know about the troubles which are assailing Signore Silvio Berlusconi who cant resist the jail bait. So much for a man who was described three years ago as a beacon of hope for European leadership and its principles.

Two down.....one to go.

I have outlined the sexual preferences of former FIA president Max Mosley on this blog before. But while we are on the topic of dirty Europeans, lets refresh our memory.

On a weekend away from running the motor racing world governing body, Mosley booked himself int a hotel and instead of 'hitting the streets' as it where he took to hitting 'the asses of Nazi clad prostitutes' as it where.

At first, Mosley denied all of this. But then the British Tabloid paper News of the World published exclusive photographs of the hotel room tryst as well as a video of the whole thing. A few days later, one of the hookers involved in the affair held an exclusive interview with the Sun newspaper in the UK.

All we need now is for Nicolas Sarkozy to be caught with his pants down. Although he will need a long ass ladder to get up close and personal with some of the sharmootos that the European leaders seem to favor.

I would never have brought up the Strauss Khan issue if it weren't for two things.

- I saw a book on the shelves of Exclusive Books the other day titled: Individuals who have stuffed up South Africa. It is a satirical look at the lives of the likes of Eugene Terreblanche, Julias Malema as well as many others who have played a role in the bad publicity that South Africa has garnered in the past.

But what does this have to do with the Strauss Khan debacle? Allow me to explain...

- One of the top candidates for Strauss Khans vacant position in the IMF is none other then South Africa's former Finance Minister Trevor Manuel. I have always attested that Manual was one of the few cabinet ministers who actually was worth anything. Trevor's odds of taking over from Strauss Khan have shortened from 20/1 to 10/1. Last night he gave his first interview discussing the matter to SABC. Since the inception of the IMF its head has been European and once again while the rest of the world is calling for the next head of the IMF to come from a developing country Europe is putting their weight behind a French candidate. Now I am quoting Manual here verbatim: "Any position, where a candidate is selected by birthright over ability is wrong." I was so shocked when I heard this that I almost chocked on my dinner, because although Manuel is right, he was just critiscising Black Economic Empowerment. Recall all of those books that I saw, run a reprint with an inclusion of Mr Manuel please.

At the end of the day, politicians will open their mouths to take one foot out and out the other one in. And Manuel is not the first to say some absolutely stupid shit and he wont be the last. I leave you with a quote from that great American President George W Bush.

"The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the war in Iraq. The vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice." Washington DC, 27 October, 2003

And if that was not enough.

"I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office." Washington DC, 12 May, 2008

Lying to the Law

Nobody likes the law. In fact I think it is one of the hardest jobs in the world, behind a gravedigger and an undertaker.

There is just something about the law that brings out the worst in people. Even the staunchest religious person will forget their upbringing to try and dupe the law.

We all know there is a minor matter of the Confederations Cup soccer tournament being played in South Africa at the moment which pits the World Champs, the Hosts of the next FIFA World Cup, and the five Continental champions against each other in a mini soccer world cup before the real makoy a year later. One of the teams participating is Egypt, who are the current African Champions.

The day after their 1-0 win over Italy during the week last week, Egypt reported that a bunch of desperados broke into their rooms and stole money. Because it is a crime against foreigners, the law decided to actually investigate the affair.

What they found out is that it wasn’t a break in by desperados as previously reported, rather an incident for the vice squad. You see, after the win over Italy, the ‘Gypto’s decided to swing from the chandeliers and have a party. And of course, as with all parties, there were a few sharmoots involved, and it was them that stole the money from their rooms.

Now what was a bunch of good Muslim boys doing with hellcats in their rooms? Please note, these are men who are governed by honour, Islam frowns down upon drinking and fornication outside of marriage.

So the team lied to the law in an attempt to keep their honour intact.

But everyone has lied to the law at one stage in their lives. On a trip back to Dubai from Jordan, I tried to sneak an open bottle of Jack Daniels onto the plane to enjoy as ‘in flight refreshment’, predictably, I got pulled over at the X-Ray machine and was given the 3rd degree about the dope. To avoid a fine a spoke in Afrikaans, the Arab cops obviously asked me to speak English and in my best broken English I explained that I never knew the law pertaining to the non carrying on of open liquor onto the plane as in South Africa it is common place to do this. So they let me off with a very aggressive: ‘hallas! Move on! next!”

Of course I know that you can’t take an open bottle of alcohol onto the plane, but that never stopped me from trying.


A work colleague of mine is a bit of a party animal and goes out on the piss at least 3 times a week. On the way home from Manhattan on Friday night she was pulled over and was going to be given a fine for drunk driving, To avoid spending the night in the gabbis, she balled her eyes out and cried a river that her boyfriend had dumped her that evening, and that she has no direction in life and that she hopes the cops arrest her. The cops obviously were a bit nervous of this charade and sat her down and told her that everything is going to be fine, and that she must find Jesus and that she must go home and sleep. Granted, her boyfriend did leave her……… over a month ago.

And its funny how the law works. Its all about how you sell it to them. Ok fine, the Gypto’s got caught out and have some explaining to do when they get home. But can you see the weakness in my story to the law in Jordan about the gamroh, and the weakness in my colleagues story to the law about her boyfriend?

At the end of the day, its always good to try a gambit or two on the law. You’ll probably get out of it.