Lying to the Law

Nobody likes the law. In fact I think it is one of the hardest jobs in the world, behind a gravedigger and an undertaker.

There is just something about the law that brings out the worst in people. Even the staunchest religious person will forget their upbringing to try and dupe the law.

We all know there is a minor matter of the Confederations Cup soccer tournament being played in South Africa at the moment which pits the World Champs, the Hosts of the next FIFA World Cup, and the five Continental champions against each other in a mini soccer world cup before the real makoy a year later. One of the teams participating is Egypt, who are the current African Champions.

The day after their 1-0 win over Italy during the week last week, Egypt reported that a bunch of desperados broke into their rooms and stole money. Because it is a crime against foreigners, the law decided to actually investigate the affair.

What they found out is that it wasn’t a break in by desperados as previously reported, rather an incident for the vice squad. You see, after the win over Italy, the ‘Gypto’s decided to swing from the chandeliers and have a party. And of course, as with all parties, there were a few sharmoots involved, and it was them that stole the money from their rooms.

Now what was a bunch of good Muslim boys doing with hellcats in their rooms? Please note, these are men who are governed by honour, Islam frowns down upon drinking and fornication outside of marriage.

So the team lied to the law in an attempt to keep their honour intact.

But everyone has lied to the law at one stage in their lives. On a trip back to Dubai from Jordan, I tried to sneak an open bottle of Jack Daniels onto the plane to enjoy as ‘in flight refreshment’, predictably, I got pulled over at the X-Ray machine and was given the 3rd degree about the dope. To avoid a fine a spoke in Afrikaans, the Arab cops obviously asked me to speak English and in my best broken English I explained that I never knew the law pertaining to the non carrying on of open liquor onto the plane as in South Africa it is common place to do this. So they let me off with a very aggressive: ‘hallas! Move on! next!”

Of course I know that you can’t take an open bottle of alcohol onto the plane, but that never stopped me from trying.


A work colleague of mine is a bit of a party animal and goes out on the piss at least 3 times a week. On the way home from Manhattan on Friday night she was pulled over and was going to be given a fine for drunk driving, To avoid spending the night in the gabbis, she balled her eyes out and cried a river that her boyfriend had dumped her that evening, and that she has no direction in life and that she hopes the cops arrest her. The cops obviously were a bit nervous of this charade and sat her down and told her that everything is going to be fine, and that she must find Jesus and that she must go home and sleep. Granted, her boyfriend did leave her……… over a month ago.

And its funny how the law works. Its all about how you sell it to them. Ok fine, the Gypto’s got caught out and have some explaining to do when they get home. But can you see the weakness in my story to the law in Jordan about the gamroh, and the weakness in my colleagues story to the law about her boyfriend?

At the end of the day, its always good to try a gambit or two on the law. You’ll probably get out of it.