Like Obama, I want change

One of the most noticeable differences when you work in the Middle East, as I did for two years, is that you struggle to find a decent “outie” on the street corner.

Just for clarification, the outie that I refer to here is the Lebanese outie, which describes a hobo or a person of questionable hygienic standards who doesn’t have job and begs for a living. This not be confused with the colourd “outiee” which refers to……, actually what the fek does it refer to?

Outie’s were put on this earth to aggravate the shit out of us people of good hygiene and good credit records. Most people try to ignore it, but others cant.

One such person who cant ignore the outie's is my best friend Michael Azar, in fact, the dollar signs roll in the outie’s eyes when they see Michael.

The fact that Michael gives the outie's money is admirable, but it will not be a mistake that he makes again. The most famous South African Lebanese outie, Daniel Azof, visits Michael on a regular basis asking him for five rand. At the start Michael would give him, that is until he started coming to Michaels shop every day for his five rand.

Daniel also used to beg at that Lebanese Church in the south of Johannesburg on a regular basis. That was until he was asked to leave as he was pestering the parishioners. He proceeded to move to the top of the hill that leads down to the church.

I think the whole Leb community breathed a sigh of relief when he got arrested by the PO PO because they had a reprieve. However, he is out now, so expect his visit soon.

One of the reasons that I don’t give outie’s money is to avoid a similar situation where the outie visits me everyday for his “chop”, but there is one outie that I do give money to every time I can.

This outie stands near RAU and has a sign that reads: 16 wives, 7 hungry dogs, 3 thin cats, 25 kids and still horney. Please help with some change. This man's creative prowess must not be underestimated. As on one red robot rotation I once saw him collect over 100 rand from people laughing and admiring his creativity.

Not to be outdone is the once off outie that I saw at the intersection of Van Buuren RD and Van der Linde RD in Bedfordview. The outie had a board that read: 2010 is coming, my dog at my boots and I want to collect money to help kill Baas Robert Mugabe.

Its seems that the American outies also have a significant creative streak in them. One outie was in Times Square in New York with a sign that read: Ninjas Killed my Family. Need Money for Kung Fu Lessons Another outie was camped near the Brooklyn Bridge with a sign saying: Just like Obama, I want change