Word of the Day

Greetings.

In the past i have been very outspoken about my utter dislike, distaste and disdain for incompetence and incompetent people! So although i am sure we are all very aware of the word incompetent, it is worthwhile visiting this word as it has many variants which not too many people are aware of.

Word: Incompetent F##k
Origin: Im sure its Italy because you always hear this insult thrown at people in decent gangster movies.
Meaning: A company which is useless! Ok...this is a bit of a long one people. I apply for a credit card at first National Bank (one of the Big Four banks here in South Africa). I had a few 'logistical issues' to resolve before application which I duly did. So I send in my application via E Mail and I get an auto reply from the bank telling me that I will receive feedback form them within 3-5 working days.

It is the fourth day and not trusting these people I give them a courtesy call only to find out that they received my documentation today only and that I must wait another 3-5 days. Bear in mind I have already waited this period. They blame technical issues which is not my f##king problem. Try and phone the help desk...and you wait 45 minutes for them to answer the phone. Actually speak to a person...and some wagon burner on the other end of the phone gives me so much attitude that I eventually lodged a complaint about her and her company. Now only are things being done.

But my question is why? WHY DO I HAVE TO HAVE MY BLOOD BOILED BEFORE THEY DO SOMETHING? VWHY DO I HAVE TO THREATEN THE POOR PEOPLE AT THE END OF THE PHONE WITH TORTURE AND DEATH BEFORE THEY DO SOMETHING? AND WHY DO I HAVE TO LODGE A COMPLAINT BEFORE A F##KING COMPANY DOES THEIR F##KING JOB?

WANKERS!

And the beauty part of this is that I am not even an existing FNB client! This is the first impression these people are making on me!

I hope and pray too the Big Man Upstairs that FNB gets wind of this blog post and reads it so they can see what a bunch of Incompetent F##k's they have become in my mind!

Word:Incompetent Prick
Origin:London...England. A famous insult that the British men throw at Pikys and Geodie men.
Meaning: A useless man who should have his Zub cut off and put in a glass cabinet because that is all that it is good for. In other words...an Incompetent Prick is a useless man! Again, this story is a bit long but it is worth a read.

As discussed on this blog before I am a journalist and unfortunately I have to follow a certain procedure which I dont necessarily agree with. Every article I write I have to send back to sources for factual clearance. If it were me Id just publish as is. Because once you hand over power to another party (give them a finger) they will try and abuse that power to the last (take an arm).

I write this article and send it to this certain individual for clearance. I also give him the mandatory 24 hours for clearance. What does the Incompetent Prick do? Gets a PR company to phone me and ask me for an extension because he has gone overseas. I mean, couldn't you tell me this in the interview when I explained our factual clearance procedure? "Oh no, I know I will never meet your deadline Mr Journalist man! Ill just ask for an extension!" was the thought which was going through his mind when I met him. He had NO intention of meeting my specified deadline FROM THE START! And then he doesnt have the balls to phone me and explain his situation...he gets a woman to do it.

Incompetent Prick!

Word: Incompetent Bitch
Origin: ME! The Lion of Lebanon, Shalafain! Because when a woman is incompetent no man will have the balls to admit it to her face except me. This is because they only want one thing from her, but nay nay! I will waver getting into her good good books which could possibly lead to horizontal refreshment which will include pumping, all of this because I hate incompetence that much!
Meaning: The female equivalent to an Incompetent Prick. We all know them! We even interact with them on a daily basis. Those women who take an arm when you give them a finger and think its ok because they will just batter their eyelids ant you or smile at you and then your heart will melt!

Well my friends...right now my heart is 100% pure and certified granite! Aint no amount of smiling or battering of eyelids will melt this shit!

I am part of the Youth Committee at my church (you wouldn't say so considering I have a mouth that can make an Irish Sailor blush at times), and there is this floozy who is part of our group who doesn't come to any of the meetings or any of the events which we arrange and then batters her eyelids at the priest and he says "How can I be cross with you!" UM...EXCUSE ME...BECAUSE SHE IS INCOMPETENT AND AN OXYGEN THEIF!

All of this talking of Pricks and Bitches reminds me of a joke which I feel I need to share because it might just put me in a better mood then I am now! However, this is unlikely!

A woman who is pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked
robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the stomach. Luckily
the babies were OK.

The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in because it was too risky to operate. She gave birth to two healthy daughters and a
healthy son.

All was fine for 16 years, and then one day one daughter walked into the room in
tears.

"What's wrong?" asked the mother.
"I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out," replied the daughter.

The mother told her it was okay and explained what happened 16 years ago

About a week later the second daughter walked into the room in tears.

"Mom, I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out."

Again the mother told her not to worry and explained what happened 16 years
ago.

A week later her son walked into the room in tears.

"It's okay" said the Mom, "I know what happened You were taking a tinkle and a bullet came out."
"No," said the boy, "I was playing with myself and I shot the dog."

NICE JADE! IF I WAS ANYWHERE NEAR A GOOD MOOD I'D BE VERY HAPPY WITH THIS JOKE! BUT I AM NOT!

The return of : Just Like Obama...I want Change

Marhaba

I must firstly apologise for being so scarce and not updating this blog as often as I would like, but things did get a bit hectic and situations did not allow me to do so.

However I am back, and without giving to much away. There are alont of changes in store for me in the months to come. POSITIVE CHANGES, I HAVE NEVER FELT AS ALIVE AS I HAVE DONE NOW.

I cant give to much away because I currently feel like I have the FBI, the Secret Service, the CIA and the PO-LICE looking at each and everything I do. It pisses me off slightly because I am a 29 year old male who is a hard worker and people feel the need to act like the FBI with me!

Three topics to discuss today with one effortlessly leading into the other.

The first topic concerns who actually runs South Africa. this question came up during the ANC Youth League conference where South Africa's favourite Rocket Scientist Julius Malema got voted in for another term as the President of the youth arm of the ANC. The whole country is now in a flat spin because there is a good chance that one day Malema will be the president of the country. But as I pointed out to my colleges at work. There is no need for panic because there is no way in hell that the President of South Africa rules the country.

It is strike season and workers in the steel industry have embarked on mass action. In solidarity to them members of the petrochemical industry have joined them. This means now that there is a shut down at all engineering firms as well as at some petrol stations who might run out of petrol very soon because there are no deliveries taking place. These people go on strike, place high demands on government and government at the end of the day gives them what they want because while they are on strike, production in the country comes to a grinding halt.

Quite frankly I am sick of all of this shit! Just because they are unhappy, now the rest of the country cant work. Sure I am not completely happy with my job (nobody in the world is), but at least I have one and I have to go to it in order to earn money to survive. For that I need petrol. Which might not be available this week.

Fucking Panocha's we know you are unhappy! We get that! But stop acting like a bunch of spoiled brats, just because you don't want to work doesn't mean you have to affect the whole Fucking country!

And inland provinces feel the pinch the worst because they have to rely on petrol delivery from the coast!

So then move to the coast.

Easier said then done my friend. Its not like the job market at the coast can be described as 'buzzing & happening' plus. I am at the bottom of the proverbial job chain. White (or Caucasian for racially infatuated people) and Male.

The second topic to discuss is what people would give to have a fresh start in life. Everyone gets depressed at some stage or another, its a human thing. But when you consider what others don't have you tend to appreciate that your life is not that bad. I mean, at times I look at things like my work, my current living conditions and my social life and ask myself: Where are you going in life? But then I drive past a million outies on my way to work and think to myself that at least I am not like them.

But sometimes even with all you have, you look at these people and say: Fuck them...there is no way their life is worse then mine. When you hit that stage my friend. You have hit rock bottom, and the Arabs have a saying: Once you hit rock bottom...you need to walk through hell to get out.

What would you give for a fresh start? I mean, moving to the coast here in South Africa is all good and well, but you need to know that apparently there is 'no money' at the coast and you might have to take a cut in pay with the move. Some people will never do that. When you get used to a certain lifestyle, it becomes everything to you. And with a drop in pay comes sacrifice.

But I am a firm believer in that money is not everything in life. Nothing matters so much as those you love and family. Because you can have all the money in the world. All of it, and you will still end up in a little box like the rest of the people and end up in the same place where you cant take your money with. sure you can leave it to your family for generations to come. But with that money comes sacrifice my friend.

The third topic are the warning signs that you need to pay attention to in order to ascertain if you are currently unhappy with all that surrounds you.

This is very subjective as the warning signs differ from person to person. but I will talk about mine because experience has taught me that more people have things in common with you then you realise.

I snap at people and tend to become a person that I am not (and don't want to be) I am an Aquerian and like a typical Aquerian, I wear my heart on my sleeve and am highly emotional. Many people have often told me that it is easy to see when I am upset. I become a bit recluse and don't talk to people. I don't eat well (I have lost 10 kg's in 3 months) and I don't sleep. When I received the news that I was waiting for yesterday, it was like a breath of fresh air for me. I finally enjoyed a meal and slept like a baby for the first time in 3 months.

The common factor here is to look at how you are normally, and if behaviour changes, then you know you you are on that slippery slope to Rock Bottom.

Again, I feel that i have been a bit of a prophet of doom here and I apologise for that. But I feel that I am doing a favour to society, because if i can help just one person, I am happy.

Word of the Day

Marhaba.

I know I have been a bit thin on the picture side on this blog lately, but the reason for this is that people cant control themselvs and I have to update my blog through a proxy hider...which does not give you full access to all the options that the normal site would.

What turned out to be an experimental post actually transformed itself into one of my favourite features that I do. it is always nice to see that people read my blogs and absorb the information therein. a lady that works with me, and reads my blog religiously, was having a hard time on the phone with someone. After throwing a tantrum she banged the phoned down and called him a Panocha.

So to today's words:

Word: Gaijin
Origin: Japan
Meaning: Ethnical slur for foreigners visiting Japan. It means Outside person. Originates from early Empirical Japan where Japanese people were still apprehensive to throw away the traditions handed down to them by the Samurai....because of this they were very reluctant to trust foreigners.
Application: "why you dye your hair? You want to be gaijin?"

Word: Gook
Origin: American solders during the Korean War.
Meaning: Racial slur to describe Koreans. It didn't start out as a slur...An American approached a Korean. The Korean did not understand the American, instead he pointed at him and called out "Mi Gook" which means "America" in Korean. The American then mistakened the Korean and thought the Korean was refering to himself as a "gook." After the Korean War, American started to refer to Koreans as Gooks for short term thinking it was a short name for Korean.
Application: "I cant stand the way the gooks are taking over the world man. They are EVERYWHERE!"

Word:Vodka Ass
Origin: Russia
Meaning: When a girl consumes premium vodka or any other good hard liquor on a regular if not excessive basis and her ass gets big in the process it is called a vodka ass.

To summerise: If a Japanese person is calling you a Gaijin:-kick his ass! If you call a Korean person a Gook they will most likely kick your ass...and Vodka Ass is acceptable on a Woman...within reason people! WITHIN REASON!

The health of the nation

Once again please hit a pause of the last song on the post Why Reggae is Great. Shookran.

This post might be a bit serious for some peoples liking...but it is a serious topic.

So America’s first lady: Michelle Obama is in town and she paid a courtesy visit to South Africa’s honorary first citizen Nelson Mandela.

F##K JZ…. As long as he is alive Mandela will always be more important then any President we elect. Key word in that sentence is as long as he is alive.

How long has he got left anyway? At 93…the man has had a good innings.

After her trip to Mandela, Obama said that he is in good health. But this announcement comes a week after the death of Albertina Sisulu and scant hours after the death of Kader Asmal, both struggle veterans.

Could it be that higher powers are telling Obama what to say so that the country does not hit panic stations and journalists start pitching tents outside Madiba’s home on ‘death watch’? We must remember that the man was in hospital last year for treatment relating to a respiratory tract infection.

One would hate to think that this is the case, but being in a situation where this has happened before….don’t count it out.

As is widely publicised on the Lions Den, I lived in Dubai UAE for two years between from beginning 2005 to the early 2007. I was at a press conference for the 2006 Dubai Marathon at the JW Marriot when it was announced that the Sheikh of the Dubai Emirate (what you would call a Province or a State of the UAE) Sheikh Maktoum died suddenly.

Two weeks of national mourning was declared all the Night Club Establishments and Dance Halls were closed and the radio stations (including the one yours truly worked for) played recordings of the Qur’an [as is tradition when a member of state dies].

Only after the period of morning and the burial did it transpire that Sheikh Maktoum was actually quite ill before he passed on. This was not released to the public at the time of his death or leading up to his death in fear that it would in fact cause national panic.

So it is quite possible that the same will happen with Madiba. Or they will be open and honest about his illness and hope that the country respects the mans legacy enough to not go into a complete state of anarchy.

Guaranteed there will be whole scale panic from the white population.

Madiba must be one of the very few Black leaders who has won the hearts of every white person in the country. Even the generation of Apartheid extremists who were still around when he was elected President in 1994.

Living next door to us at the time was a family relative from my Grandfathers side who was one of Eugene Terrebalnche’s body guards back when the AWB were holding rallies one or twice a month. When it came to the 1994 elections he (like many other white South Africans) believed that there was going to be a civil war and that the ANC would convince the Black people of the country to go on a witch hunt to ‘necklace’ all the whites. So he stocked up on tined beef, backed beans, tined sweet corn, and candles.

The elections came and went peacefully and he was forced to eat his words about the black people. But then he said that the civil war will come when Mandela dies.

There is a stronger case for this then many would care to admit. When Mandela took power he established a party based on sound moral values, which were embraced by leaders such as Thabo Mbeki and Cyril Ramaphosa. However, the leadership of the ANC has deteriorated so much that leaders such as Julius Malema tell the crowd that they must vote for the ANC or Mandela will die!

While Mandela is alive his presence can keep these imbeciles in check and keep them on the moral straight and narrow. With him gone there will no one to keep these miscreants on a proverbial ‘leash’ and who knows what they might do.

Word of the Day

Hi there.

Before we continue please hit a pause on the last song on the post: Why Reggae is great.

I feel like James Bond today. Mainly because some lovely people whom I know (no names will be mentioned) dont know the meaning of self restraint. While the Lion of Lebanon updates: The Lions Den once, maybe twice a week, other people update theirs EVERY DAY.

There is a saying in life which says that if you give a person enough rope they will hang themselves, so now because we have people updating their blogs everyday, our IT man at the work has blocked the blogger website.

Being the ever resourceful man that i am i managed to log on through a proxy hider and am updating this blog. I hope it works.

One thing i usually do partake in is updating my blog after a weekend. Ordinarily it would not be a 'word of the day' post if the last such post was at the end of last week. However events which occurred at the Sharks vs Bulls Super 15 Rugby game on the weekend warrants a word of the day post.

Word:Pajero
Meaning: Spanish slang word meaning 'He who fiddles with himself for sexual gratification'.

So the cops descended on Loftus BEFORE THE ACTUAL RUGBY GAME KICKED OFF and arrested a score of Sharks and Bulls fans for 'public dunkeness and disturbing the peace' they then held these people for only FOUR HOURS BEFORE RELEASING THEM WITH A 'SPOT FINE' OF R150 EACH.

The Pork spokesperson Duane Lightfoot says that the blitz was in the interest of to “maintaining law and order” at the stadium.

Im sorry but you are a Pajero Duane Lightfoot! We all know it was for Nandos money.

Were there RIOTS outside the stadium? Were the supporters acting like DEPERADOS GUNSLINGING AT EVERY TOM, DICK AND HARRY THAT PASSED BY? If the answer is NO to any of these questions Mr Lightfoot then you are FULL OF SHIT and a Fibber! The arresting of people for 'Public Drunkenness' is the easiest way to get bribes off people. And you should know this. ALSO…aren’t you supposed to hold these people overnight and not just for FOUR HOURS!

Then in an article on sport 24 some bitch by the name of Corine van Dyk backs up the porks actions saying that on game days the areas around Loftus are a bit hectic!

You puta de mierda. You live near a stadium bitch, of course you are going to be inconvinienced on game days! But answer me this:... Do these games last five days? NO! Do these games even last ten hours? Once again…NO! Maybe you called the cops because your prostetution business gets affected on game days. Not enough men come knocking on your door to service you.

I wonder if you called the cops during the Soccer World Cup? Or on days when they play soccer at Loftus? If not then not only are you a prostitute but a racist one at that. Guess who wont be recomending your establishment to international visitors.

Words of the Day

Please hit a pause on the last song on the blog title: 'Why Reggae is Great!' Shookran

I had every intention of updating 'The Lions Den' from Lusaka...but as my luck would have it the internet access at the hotel was existent...but extremely limited.

Now I am playing catch up! THANKS PROTEA ARCADES HOTEL LUSAKA! PANOCHA'S!

Words of the day!

First up a normal word, not slang.

WORD: DELECTABLE: extremely beautiful, captivating, attractive, beguiling
Application: Ana Paquin is one of the most delectable woman I have seen in a long time.

Now for some good old street slang!

WORD: OYIBO (sometimes pronounced: yo-hi-bo): Nigerian word for white man which has derogatory connotations associated to it.
Application: I slipped the oyibo the cocaine telling him that they are headache pills. Hopefully the pigs in Accra let him through without arresting his ass!

Word: FINE CHINA: Used to describe a female/male who is hotter then delectable. Has roots in the fact that Chinese Crockery is often considered works of art.
Application: Back that shit up nigga! Just have a look at that piece of fine china right there!

However...may also refer to:

FINE CHINA: the original definition refers to heroin in its purest form. It is a white powder unlike "dirty" heroin which is brown or black. Fine china can be snorted.

Straight to the Shalafain Dictionary they go

Airport Madness and How Spar is 'Good for You'

Salamu.

Sometimes life has a very nasty way of taking something that you were looking forward to and F##king it up. I mean by making the experience so un-enjoyable that you stop and ask yourself: 'Do the ends really justify the means?'

So I flew to Zambia on Tuesday and I am a firm believer in getting to the Airport early for International flights just in case there are some nasty surprises in store. I was only due to check into my flight to Lusaka at 5:55 pm, but I arrived at Ortia at 3:30pm. I walk up to the SAA desk and ask the lady to check me in. She tells me that there is a problem with my ticket and what insued was three hours of me phoning the company who organised my trip to Zambia and swearing them broken to the stage where SAA called the pigs for me at the departure terminal who told me that they would 'clap me in irons' if I did not 'display a greater level of self restraint and decorum'. NIGGA PLEASE! LIKE A PIG EARNING MINIMUM WAGE KNOWS THE MEANING OF DECORUM! But I never told him that.

Eventually I got flight tickets 20 minutes after the flight closed. I had to make like Jessie Owens and break all sprinting records running to the boarding gates from the ticket counter. People were giving me daggers as I pushed in at the passport control desk but it needed to be done.

I got on the flight and an associate of mine asked me why I held the plane up, I told him that we would catch up in Zambia as I am ready to kill someone. What i didn't notice was that at the exact moment that I said that a flight attendant was standing behind me and said to me that it was not the best thing to say on a plane full of passengers and that if I dont make my way to my seat then she would have to call the pigs for me.

I tried my luck once...I doubt I would be so lucky a second time.

I was livid at this stage and found my seat. I was so pissed off and aggravated that I didn't even flirt with the two really cute blonde sisters who were sitting in the same row as me on the other side of the isle! And they were the cutest little things I had seen in a LONG TIME!

Being in Zambia was amazing. I got some really good stories and got to peruse a shopping center to see how our African brothers live.

And I came to the conclusion that Zambia should just be made another province of South Africa! No bull-shit. They have Shoprite, Mica, Mikes Kitchen, Wimpy, News Cafe, Rhapsodies and Ster Kinakor. All South African founded brands.

Another famous South African Brand which I saw was SPAR! So I popped in to pick up a few things for the fridge back at my hotel room. And to my amazement they sell alcohol at Spar! And I am not talking about your run of the mill Wine (which is sold at Spars in SA as well) but Beers and Hard Liquor!

And a beer in Zambia costs R6! Ask any South African when last they paid R6 for a beer and they will have to go back more then 10 years!

So I filled my fridge at the hotel room with my second favorite beer in the world (Mosi) and did some work. I then went to have some dinner.

I didn't eat at the hotel for the very reason that I was not keen to pay an arm and a leg for a toasted sandwich that would make me more hungry then anything else. So I ventured back to the shopping center where I ate at the ZamChick Inn. Which is a piss poor attempt to rival KFC.

Talk about a limited menu. You have a choice of either 1 piece with chips, 2 pieces with chips, three pieces with chips, four pieces with medium chips or five pieces with 2 medium chips.

So I go for the four piece as I am ravenous. It took 10 minuets to prepare and the chicken was EXTREMELY brown. Either they had deep fried it really well or deep fried it in oil that was a week old. I was hoping it was the former.

I then had to be up at 4:15 in the morning on Youth Day to make a 7:15 am flight. I have never been asked to see my passport as many times in my life then at the Lusaka International Airport. Not even in ZIMBABWE when they KNEW I WAS A JOURNALIST!

All in all Zambia was awesome but I was so run down when I got back to SA that I slept most of my Youth Day.

Fun times!